Dear Peter, here’s how to revive the Labour party

To: Peter Mandelson
From: Daniel Finkelstein
Re: What Labour should do now

I was, naturally, flattered to be informed that you would like me to provide you with a memo of advice on how Labour should cope with its predicament. As I explained to your assistant, I do not have much of a history of helping out the leadership of the Labour party. He said that this did not matter, as neither did the Prime Minister.

As for you and me, we haven’t spoken much these past 20 years. So I am relieved to discover that you regard such long periods of silence as perfectly natural in a friendship.

In 1997, as you may possibly recall, we were on opposite sides of a campaign. I was working for John Major, you for Tony Blair. You, ahem, won. But I learned things from that defeat which might be helpful to you now.

Before I set out my ideas, we had better deal with Gordon Brown. Advising Labour on how to improve its position without advising it to get rid of Mr Brown is like advising someone how to deal with their cheesy feet problem without advising them to stop wearing shoes made out of brie.

However, I was warned that this was not a subject that can be raised with you, without the presence of qualified medical personnel. So I will move on.

Here is my advice:

1. It’s not about them, it’s about you. An enormous amount of Labour’s time is being devoted to establishing dividing lines with the Conservatives. It is being wasted.