Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 13 September 2008

Tamzin Lightwater's unique take on the week

issue 13 September 2008

Monday

Look! There is no question of us doing a U-turn on our pledge to match Labour’s spending plans. You can’t do a U-turn if you were never going to go a particular way in the first place. Or if you went for a long drive that brought you exactly back to where you started, you wouldn’t say you’d done a U-turn. You’d say you’d done a circle. Or a curve. Oh dear. Let’s put it this way: we always planned to stop promising to match Labour’s spending plans by the end of this year. So in fact we are on target for fulfilling one of our key pledge reversals! Or let me put it another way… No, it’s no good. And I’m going to get tested on this later when we have our daily ‘Ditching Our Pledges for the Economic Year 2010’ progress update. I’m toast.

Tuesday

Huge headache from all the champers at Dylan and Dave’s book launch in swanky Park Lane hotel last night. It was a super do but a bit tiring trying to keep up with so many glamorous celebrities demanding tax cuts because they are down to their last ten million! Ended up sitting at the back selling books near Gids who was — controversially — wearing a tie and furiously scribbling numbers on the back of an envelope.

Last thing I needed today was Mr Redwood: ‘Morning Tamzin! I thought you might enjoy a copy of my excellent report to reread at your leisure, or now if you’d prefer, while I stand here. Also you will find on my blog all sorts of interesting ideas for how to stimulate growth and get Britain moving again!’ Is it just me or does he sound like he’s selling laxatives? In any case, he left copies of his report everywhere, with the relevant pages on spending cuts turned down, including in the loo.

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