Oh dear. We lost the war of Obama buzzwords at the weekend. Now there’s an inquest to find out how Gordon managed to get compared to Barack before Dave.
Monday
Oh dear. We lost the war of Obama buzzwords at the weekend. Now there’s an inquest to find out how Gordon managed to get compared to Barack before Dave.
I just don’t understand it. All that briefing. All those meticulously written speeches with the mandatory 25 mentions of the word ‘change’.
Jed says we are going to be subject to even tighter rules now. If we can’t be trusted to do a simple bit of rebranding by means of self-regulation, then he will bring in tough sanctions. For starters, we all have to write memos setting out how we personally intend to deliver the headline ‘Camerbama!’
Operation Black Pudding not going too well either. Dave’s been practising all week ahead of his trip Up North tomorrow and he still can’t quite manage to smile when he swallows it. Sherwood, our lifestyle guru, has instructed him to close his eyes and repeat the words Daylesford Organic silently to himself as he’s chewing. Let’s pray it works.
Tuesday
Our super new proposals on prisons are a triumph! Which reminds me, I must take poor Mr Lansley his sandwiches. He’s been locked in the Tranquillity Room for nearly a week now. Leaving aside his ‘Reverse Letwin’ — ‘Spend, spend, spend!’ — I think this is a bit over the top. He promised never to say anything about NHS spending ever, ever again, but Dave didn’t believe him. Plus we either locked him or Foxy up, and Jed says Foxy’s got too many friends who might come looking for him. Whereas poor Mr Lansley doesn’t have any friends at all.
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