High life | 29 January 2011

About 15 or so years ago I received a very polite letter from Belgium asking me to list three of the most pompous and self-important people in the UK. It came with a self-addressed return envelope and stamp. The writer was known to me as ‘l’entarteur’, a man who would approach the pompous and vainglorious and shove a pie in their face. He would never insult the victims nor use foul language — in fact, he always remained silent — and he assured me in his letter that he used only the finest ingredients and very fresh milk.

The first name which came to mind was Edward Heath but almost immediately I took it off the list. Heath was too bloated, his face too red, and the last thing I wished was for him to have a stroke while covered with a lemon meringue pie. ‘L’entarteur’ agreed and we started a lively correspondence.