Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

‘I assembled a counter full of sharp objects, and went at it like Rambo in First Blood’

Don't tell health and safety about my struggle with the splinter

[Getty Images/Ingram Publishing]

Already a subscriber? Log in

This article is for subscribers only

Subscribe today to get 3 months' delivery of the magazine, as well as online and app access, for only £3.

  • Weekly delivery of the magazine
  • Unlimited access to our website and app
  • Enjoy Spectator newsletters and podcasts
  • Explore our online archive, going back to 1828

Comments

Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months

Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.

Already a subscriber? Log in