Low life | 8 June 2017

‘Get ready for the stink,’ said Oscar as we walked up the concrete ramp to the entrance of the ape house. As we pushed through the swing door, the smell of herbal manure and the humidity were momentarily overwhelming. Once our eyes had adjusted to the darkness, we saw the usual crowd gathered in front of the reinforced glass window that separated the mountain gorillas from the human beings. We had stupidly left Oscar’s iPad on the first bus of the three it had taken us to get there, but by now our devastation had given way to depression. The sight of these mountain gorillas made the iPad seem curiously irrelevant.

I have a theory that the gene responsible for obesity in humans also compels them to go to the zoo. Eight out of every ten people walking around Paignton zoo that day were, I swear, massively fat. Some were on wheels, either electrically powered or propelled by other fat people.