I defy you to find a better story today. Sad, obviously for the tiny wrestlers and their fans, but pure, unadulterated, newspaper gold for everyone else. We need more details but, by the looks of it anyway, this has the potential to be the story of the year...
Two professional midget wrestlers have been found dead in a low-rent hotel room in Mexico City.
La Parkita (Little Death) and Espectrito Jr - in real life brothers Alberto and Alejandro Jiménez - had been entertaining two prostitutes on the night of their death.
Police beileve the women gave the pair, both 35, a fatal drugs overdose before fleeing with their belongings.
Witnesses saw two females leaving the hotel room shortly before the bodies of Espectrito Jr and La Parkita, who fought wearing a skeleton costume, were discovered by a cleaner.
She found the pair laid out on their beds.
Police are interviewing two suspects but believe the wrestlers were dosed with a lethal combination of alcohol and eye drops.
Prosecutor Miguel Angel Mancera said that gangs of female robbers are experienced at using drugs to knock men out and rob them, but they may have used too strong a dose.
Like I say, this is the sort of caper newspapers were invented for. I hope everyone is sending their best guys to Mexico in what should be a mad scramble to get the full story... We need Wenlock Jakes to be covering this.