My plan for Question Time: mug up and fail anyway

I was invited on Question Time this week, which gave me a few sleepless nights. Natalie Bennett’s disastrous interview on LBC was a reminder that appearing on a current affairs programme in this febrile pre-election environment can be a bit of a minefield. Admittedly, I’m not the leader of a political party but that’s no guarantee I won’t make a fool of myself — a moment that will be preserved for ever on YouTube. There are no opportunities for glory on Question Time, but plenty for embarrassment. The most you can hope for is to get through the experience in one piece. By now you may well have seen what happened — but I am writing this on Tuesday evening, full of nerves.

My biggest fear is that someone might ask a ‘funny’ question. The second time I appeared on the programme in 2005 the final question of the evening was, ‘If the party leaders were animals, what animals would they be?’ David Dimbleby immediately turned to me and said, ‘Toby, you’re a witty fellow, how would you answer that one?’ I was completely stumped. Couldn’t think of anything remotely funny. I experienced what the leader of the Greens called ‘brain fade’. It was four years before I was asked back.

This will be my fifth appearance and, as before, I’ve done a fair amount of mugging up. It’s a bit like revising for an exam. You have no way of knowing exactly what questions will come up — the audience submit them on the night and the producers don’t give you any warning — but if you’ve been watching the news you can predict with some accuracy.

I’m reasonably sure someone will ask a question about the child sex abuse scandals in Rotherham and Oxfordshire and the Prime Minister’s proposals to make it a criminal offence for those in authority to wilfully neglect those at risk.