Lucy Vickery

Spectator competition winners: a resignation letter from God

This time around you were invited to supply resignation letters from God. Despite mankind’s attempts to kill Him off, God continues to bounce back. ‘The Almighty,’ as Terry Eagleton puts it in his book Culture and the Death of God, ‘has proved remarkably difficult to dispose of.’ But what if He decided one day that He’d had just about enough of us all (Gexit, as Ken Stevens termed it)? Now seems as likelier a time as any, so it’s over to you. The winners take £25 each.

David Silverman Over the years, the human race has been taking part in a momentous democratic process. It is right that we trust the people with these big decisions. As you know, I have always been absolutely clear about my belief that humanity is stronger, safer and better off inside the Kingdom of Heaven. However, the human race has made a very clear decision to take a different path. Faced with the choice of God or Mammon, it has chosen the latter. This choice must be respected. I will do everything I can, as creator and sustainer of the universe, to steady the ship over the coming weeks, but it would not be right for me to be the captain steering humanity to its next destination. I love this universe, I feel honoured to have served it, and I wish it luck under its new leadership. Thank you for your time.

D.A. Prince To whom …although increasingly I doubt if there is anyone concerned at my resignation. Doubt, incidentally, is something new to me. I would not wish to accuse you of constructive dismissal: your lack of faith in me, however, has made my position untenable and Eden beckons. Perhaps I appointed the wrong departmental managers, perhaps I should have encouraged profits rather than prophets.

Already a subscriber? Log in

Keep reading with a free trial

Subscribe and get your first month of online and app access for free. After that it’s just £1 a week.

There’s no commitment, you can cancel any time.


Unlock more articles



Don't miss out

Join the conversation with other Spectator readers. Subscribe to leave a comment.

Already a subscriber? Log in