A bad day for daffodils. Hundreds of these little golden trombones were cut down this morning so that our MPs could display their bogus affection for Wales. Honestly, sporting a daff on St David’s Day is like clapping for the NHS – a badge of insincerity.
The issue of the moment, the Windsor Framework, barely got a mention at PMQs. Hats off to the marketing genius who coined the phrase ‘Windsor Framework’. Such a cosy, domestic and stylish term. One imagines a pine gazebo by John Lewis or a luxurious summerhouse from Habitat. A place where friends and families can relax forever. To Ulster-watchers, it’s odd that the agreement has been reached with so little acrimony. Usually when a deal is about to be done, the factions boil over with fury. Not this time. No one frothed or fumed in the Commons today. No one got angry.
The Labour leader should be concerned that Rishi Sunak is showing signs of competence in office. Yet Sir Keir is incapable of changing his tactics, let alone improving them. He still can’t think up a single utterance that might attract the floating voter. He’s stuck with his ancient Manichean hard-left analysis. ‘Nasty Tories. Nice Labour.’ Today he hammered this reductive dichotomy again and accused Rishi of making families shiver in their homes while the government grovels to Big Oil. He said the PM supports ‘wealthy tax-avoiders’ at the expense of ‘hard-working parents’, and he even claimed that by scrapping exemptions for non-doms Rishi could cut childcare costs nationwide. No, he couldn’t. But Sir Keir treats every voter like a tearful child forced to choose between a lollipop or a caning.
He raised the Daily Telegraph’s allegations about Matt Hancock, and Rishi replied that the inquiry was still ongoing. ‘I know in a previous life he was a lawyer,’ said Rishi, teasingly, ‘as he has mentioned it one or two times before.’ Rishi is having fun at PMQs. That should trouble Sir Keir as well. And Rishi laughed his head off at a question from Lib Dem Christine Jardine who claimed that ‘80 per cent’ of her constituents ‘have to ration their energy use.’ Not true. The figure is 100 per cent. We all ration our energy use because heating systems have an inbuilt limiting device – a thermostat. Jardine believes that homes in Scotland will be far warmer if her party sweeps to power, and she asked the PM: ‘Will he accept that it’s now time to listen to the Liberal Democrats?’ After he’d stopped chuckling at that, Rishi reminded her that her party opposes new nuclear reactors.
Stephen Flynn of the SNP asked a peach of a question. He rose to address the Prime Minister with one hand in his pocket. He may even have been chewing gum. He quoted Rishi’s gushing words yesterday about Northern Ireland’s access to the single market. ‘Special, exciting and attractive,’ Rishi had said. And so, wondered Flynn, ‘why is he denying it to the rest of us?’ Rishi reached for the moral high ground and urged him not to play politics with Northern Ireland. Flynn stood up again, fixing his quarry with a cold accusing glare. He was like a sceptical loss-adjuster quizzing a bankrupt manufacturer whose warehouse has mysteriously burned to the ground. He cited the Labour view that access to the single market ‘will not boost economic growth.’ And he went on. ‘Does it hurt him to know that Labour believe in Brexit more than he does?’
Vast amusement all round. But Flynn’s waggish sophistry is worthless to the SNP politically. They seem to have given up.
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