Paul Johnson

The age of stout hearts, sharp swords — and fun

The age of stout hearts, sharp swords — and fun

It is exactly 100 years since F.E. Smith made the most famous maiden speech in history. Do MPs still make maidens? One never hears of them. Indeed one never hears of any speeches in the Commons these days; as a theatre of oratory it is dead. But it was a different matter in 1906. The January election was among the most disastrous in Conservative history. From having a majority of 134, they found themselves with barely 150 seats, and the Liberal majority was 356. This nadir of Tory fortune gave Smith a fine opportunity to make his name at a stroke by restoring their morale in his first speech (he was the newly elected MP for Walton, Liverpool), delivered on 11 March at 10 p.m., then regarded as the best slot of the day.

Traditionally, a maiden speaker ‘craved the indulgence of the House’ in hearing him, and repaid it by keeping his material uncontroversial. Disraeli had ignored this in 1837 and had been howled down. Smith also craved no indulgence and made his speech as offensive to the government benches as he possibly could. He prepared it with great care, spiced it with ferocious malice, witticisms and stunning jokes, learnt it by heart and delivered it without notes and with superb confidence. He was 34 and a striking figure: six foot two, and enormously good-looking, ‘a long, lean brown face and impudent nose, eyes the colour of a peat pool in Dartmoor, full of light and fringed by luxuriant silky eyelashes, his lips slightly ajar as if about to close on a cigar, and shaped for insolence and disdain’. When he stood up, the Tory benches, meagrely attended, were a picture of misery and dejection. When he sat down, 50 minutes later, the House was packed, for word had got around that something remarkable was taking place, and the Tories were a cheering, foot-stamping mass of delight and excitement.

Already a subscriber? Log in

Keep reading with a free trial

Subscribe and get your first month of online and app access for free. After that it’s just £1 a week.

There’s no commitment, you can cancel any time.

Or

Unlock more articles

REGISTER

Comments

Don't miss out

Join the conversation with other Spectator readers. Subscribe to leave a comment.

Already a subscriber? Log in