What a shower!

I’m in a Swiss mountain village. I’ve spent the day glacier skiing, and now I’m showering in my steamy hotel bathroom. The water is crashing off my ample curves, my muscles are aching pleasantly and I’m looking forward to a convivial evening. But, damn, it’s difficult to get out of this shower – it’s just too good. Every jet of water has zest and purpose, the shower head is big and shiny, and the water has a creamy quality. There’s no crusty limescale, the temperature is precisely 42 degrees, and it’s thrillingly powerful. It’s perfect. And, as I stand, gasping, under this cascade of hot, bubbly, foreign water it sets me wondering: why are British showers so utterly pathetic when compared with the uninhibited spurt of our Continental cousins?

Let us begin with the conspiracy theory. Some say the privatised water companies have reduced mains pressure in order to decrease the quantity of water lost through leakage (they get hefty fines for bad leaks).