I can’t say I was gobsmacked to read that Miley Cyrus and Naomi Campbell seemed more interested in each other’s company than in their fans when they held a ‘meet and greet’ in London to sign copies of their new single. Some fans complained, accusing Cyrus of ignoring them in favour of chatting with Campbell. Somewhat stung, Cyrus posted nine videos on social media of herself and Campbell pressing the flesh with the little people: ‘To everyone who came out to celebrate our single, we love you.’
Hmm. We’ve been here before. Celebrities promoting their product can be snooty enough when interviewed one-on-one, but put two of them together in front of a ‘civilian’ (as Liz Hurley memorably put it) and you really see how showbiz kids feel about those outside their tribe. Think of the way Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo conducted a long, lachrymose love-in while ostensibly promoting Wicked – interviewers reduced to rather embarrassed bystanders. Or how Blake Lively and Parker Posey treated the Norwegian journalist Kjersti Flaa so frostily that she considered giving up her career. Both episodes reminded me of what Demi Moore reportedly said to Tina Brown at a launch party, as ‘civilians’ peered across the velvet ropes into the VIP enclosure: ‘Can you imagine how you and I look to those people over there?’
There was the idiot from U2 who repeatedly shouted ‘I am the Edge!’ at the police officers arresting him for a motoring offence, and the drunken REM guitarist Peter Buck who informed cabin crew trying to calm him down: ‘I am REM and I can have you arrested!’ I’ve only heard of one American grunge band who reportedly urinated on their fans from a balcony, but I bet more than a few have been tempted.
Where does this disdain for fans come from? You’d think they’d be grateful. Perhaps it goes back to schooldays. Even models often say they were the Weird Girl, all height and skinniness. Success turns the tables: suddenly everyone wants to be your friend. You can see how this might provoke a kind of sexualised loathing, hence the fabled abuse of groupies that was par for the course in the late 20th century.
Social media has changed the game. Fans now have the power to make themselves far more visible – and yes, some are a bit unhinged. But stars have the option of staying off X and Insta. It’s like asking a fly to stay off muck, yes – but Scarlett Johansson, Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence have managed it, and they’re not exactly hermits. Some celebrities even have fun with it. James Blunt gained fans who hated his music by tweeting in a witty, self-deprecating way. For the 20th anniversary of his biggest hit, he posted: ‘Whoever thought a song about being high as a kite on drugs, stalking someone else’s girlfriend would resonate quite so much? Thank you. You guys are beautiful.’ As one headline put it: ‘James Blunt: loathed on the radio, loved on Twitter.’
The polar opposite might be Madonna. Her antics on social media have tested even lifelong fans. Her 40-year career is defined by attention-seeking, but it used to come with a hefty side-serving of good music. TikTok has been her downfall. When she turned up on the app a few years ago, it seemed odd that one of the richest women in entertainment would mime to her own songs for fun. Then in 2022, it all went tits up – metaphorically and literally. What once seemed risqué now looked downright desperate. She posed on Instagram with her breasts out and had a dildo in her mouth (to promote luxury sex toys) and mimed a rap track that began: ‘Have you ever been punched in your motherfucking face? What you say? Oh, you haven’t? Alright, wait.’ Even diehard fans recoiled.
So disturbing was the video that some onlookers called for an intervention. But Madonna didn’t retreat – she doubled down, twerking in lingerie and throwing a pair of pink knickers at a bin while asking aloud if she might be gay. It feels as though she’s trolling us now. I noted this back in 2008, writing in the Guardian:
What once seemed risqué now looked downright desperate
Despite the received wisdom of the poor little Star – a Very Private Person – desperately attempting to go through life minding their own business while being stalked mercilessly by press, paparazzi and sad fans who need to Get A Life, it very often seems to me that it is we, the public, who are actually stalked by the stars. And to the most extreme extent. I’ve never to my knowledge shown Madonna my vagina, for instance, but she’s certainly shown me – and countless others – hers, in that vile book Sex. Visions of that greasy muff, which one could easily have fried an egg on without benefit of oil, haunt me till this very day. But if a ‘civilian’ goes around showing their genitals, they’re arrested!
These days, Madonna seems almost to revel in fan-loathing, as though she enjoys deliberately destroying everything people once loved about her. Of course, some stars genuinely love their fans – or at least do a good job of pretending they do. One reason Tom Cruise remains popular is the care he takes with fans at premieres, always taking photos and acting as though they’re the reason he showed up. Some celebrities love fans in private too. Gemma O’Neill was a schoolgirl when she met Gary Numan and told him she loved him. They recently celebrated 26 years of marriage. He posted: ‘She is everything that I am not, all the things that I was born without.’
But Numans are rarer than New Men these days. Like many an old person, I look back fondly on a time when stars behaved better. Maybe it’s because they came from blue-collar backgrounds, not dynasties of nepo-babies. Yes, there were rude ones: the silent movie star who told a fan ‘Get away, dear – I don’t need you anymore’ after she retired. But then there was Marilyn Monroe, listed in the New York phone book. She invited a group of teenagers called the Monroe Six up to her flat for a cold drink after seeing them wait outside for hours. One later said: ‘We asked her if we could take a picture or if she would like to sign a piece of paper, and she never said no.’
One even rang the doorbell of Jayne Mansfield on the off-chance she might answer – she did and gave him a tour. So if you see me out and about in my wheelchair in Hove and want a selfie – as sometimes happens, mockers – I’m all yours. Just be sure to get my good side.
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