The worst entry for this year’s Euro-vision song contest was that vast cater-wauling aboriginal. I can’t remember her name, only that her performance convinced me still further that Australia might not, technically, be a part of Europe. But then I was a little worried by the winner too. The song ‘Toy’, sung by Israel’s Netta Barzilai, was easily the most musically imaginative in the contest and so probably deserved its victory. But the lyrics were the usual deluded, self-aggrandising victimhood rot. ‘I am a beautiful creature,’ she sang, despite fairly compelling evidence to the contrary, right there in front of our eyes. An energetic and likeable performer she may be, but I suspect we have unleashed a monster on the world, like that lachrymose bearded freak who won for Austria a few years back and then wouldn’t shut up for ages.
After the contest, Netta — who had nothing to do with the writing of the song — gibbered about ‘diversity’ in the manner of a Chatty Cathy doll programmed by the Guardian’s editorial board. Much as did last year’s winner, a Portuguese bloke everybody has fortunately forgotten about.
But then spewing out meaningless PC garbage is as important these days as having a decent song — which means that next year’s contest, which will be held in the rightful Israeli capital of Jerusalem, should be interesting viewing. Live From Golgotha, as Gore Vidal presciently put it.
This will cause problems, I’d suggest. Some countries — the Turkic alliance mainly, but probably also a few useful idiots from the civilised West — will most likely refuse to take part. The organisers might try to engineer a compromise in which Palestine is allowed to compete, and so we may be treated to some sweating, overweight Hamas bint in a sparkly dress, surrounded by artfully choreographed burning tyres, singing:
La la la lei lei lei lei!
Throw all the filthy Jews in the sea!
Kill them all, kill them all, inshallah!
Peace and diversity!
La la la lei lei lei! Intifada!
All set to a cheesy hi-NRG beat with a melody lifted from that stuff they play when belly-dancers are doing their thing in some noisome fly-blown Arab whoretrap.