Dear Mary…
Q. I am an artist and will shortly be showing my latest works in a one-man show. I beg your advice on how I can circumvent the social difficulty which blights many private views — namely, what to do about having something to eat after the show? Clearly a two-tier system of those who are invited to go on to a restaurant and those who are not would be invidious, so I would like everyone to feel welcome. The problem is not only the fluid numbers but also the nightmare of trying to get dawdlers out of the gallery and into the restaurant in the first place, let alone to give their orders. I cannot foot the bill personally, so there will be the problem of dividing it up between those who have drunk vast quantities and those on Evian water, etcetera. What do you recommend, Mary?
S.G., Shepherd’s Bush, London
A. Why not take a tip from the Lennox Gallery in London’s Moore Park Road, SW6? This gallery recently staged a sell-out show of paintings by the queenly Beauly-based artist Leonie Gibbs. Just as the assembled diehards were beginning to get restless at around 9.30 p.m. a cauldron of sun-dried tomatoes, pellets of chicken, and haricots verts in a lightly creamy sauce was handed around on heavy-duty cardboard plates with real forks. The wine continued to flow and boxes of superior chocolates were offered as a pudding course. In this way there was no need to stall the momentum of the evening, nor discriminate between desirables and undesirables, and a wonderful sense of satisfaction descended on the group who could not be unaware that they were saving between them around £1,500 in restaurant bills at a cost to the gallery of no more than £50. Other galleries should take note because this is a brilliant way of generating goodwill among the painting-purchasing populace.
Q. Absolutely brilliant! I had been wondering how you were going to extricate yourself from the rather prurient discussion about gaping pyjama trousers at breakfast when in one bound you escape. The introduction of a completely new social faux pas of silhouette offence at once opens a whole new field of insecurity and a new volume of etiquette about which we can fret. Summer beaches, fashion columns, clerical dress for Muslims, evening wear to film premieres — the number of social situations in which we must now worry about the possibility of giving offence is endless. There must at least be a book in this, Mary.
D.J.H., Essex
A. How kind of you to make these points.
Q. So much is (still) popping out in response to the pyjama trouser question that I feel bound to offer my own solution, unexciting though it may be. Buy them in M&S — they usually come with a button half way down the aperture.
C.C., Farnham, Surrey
A. Thank you for taking the time to submit this suggestion. Unfortunately, experienced pyjama-wearers find the button-rich version gives rise to its own pressure problems for front-sleepers, which is why they are generally discounted as an option.
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