Your Problems Solved | 24 July 2004

Dear Mary

Q. I am commuting to Italy most weekends this summer and, unlike Charles Dunstone, am an ‘Easy’ rather than a ‘Net’ jet user. What do you suggest I do when without asking the passenger in front tips his seat back into my face? I have thought of various measures such as prevention — walking to my seat with a stick pretending to have a bad leg — or revenge — allowing runny honey to drip down the back of the seat. Or should I accept the growing ‘pikeyness’ of air travel? Cabin staff seem to be there to extract cash from passengers and enforce the increasingly draconian rules and my remonstrations are usually met with blank astonishment.
M E-J., Paris 7eme

A. Ask the offender pleasantly whether, before he settles down, he could see if he has a spare sick bag in the pouch in front of him. Explain that there are no sickbags in your own pouch and you often get terribly sick when flying — projectile vomiting no less. Give him a moment or two to think about it. You should soon see the seat regain its upright position.

Q. We happen to live in a lovely part of the country where we collect more ‘friends’ during the summer months. The company for which I work (remotely) is based in the Midlands. Just recently our company accountant asked me if he and his partner could come for a long weekend visit. He’s always seemed quite a good sort although we’ve never been socially close. Initially I had no real objection; however, another colleague has advised extreme caution as recently it became obvious that Mr Accountant and his partner are swingers. Among all my other problems, I do not need this complication.