Society

Thursday

Jeremy Clarke

Low life | 4 May 2017

‘Emmanuel Macron est le plus grand con du monde,’ said the elderly gent taking the vacant seat on my right at the Marine Le Pen rally last week. He had slicked-back white hair, a little hog’s-bristle moustache and broken-down white trainers. Plus grand means ‘biggest’, du monde means ‘in the world’, and con means, well, have a guess. A teenage girl and her pal squeezed past to occupy the spare pair of seats on my left. They flung themselves joyfully into the chanting and singing before they’d even sat down. The Palais Nikaia, a concert venue next to Nice airport, holds 8,000 people. Ten minutes before Marine Le Pen was

Melissa Kite

Real life | 4 May 2017

A gentleman on Twitter ‘writes’ to say I’m boring him with my house move. ‘Snooze-fest’, says this chap, and he posts a little yellow unhappy face or ‘emoticon’, which passes for articulate on Twitter. I’ve never heard of this fellow, although it is likely he is some kind of pundit with followers in the blogosphere who rely on him to tell them what is boring and what is not. I suspect I’m not alone in not knowing who he is, and that no one, including his own mother, has heard of him and that this being Twitter it is entirely likely he has not even heard of himself. However, I

Susanna Gross

Bridge | 4 May 2017

Janet likes to tease me that whenever it’s my turn to write this column, it ought to be renamed The David Gold Experience. Well, maybe I do write about him a lot, but then again, he is one of the best players in the world. Anyway, this week I’ve decided to give David’s regular partner Mike Bell an airing. Mike is also a superb player, and I’m lucky enough to be on his Nicko team. ‘Nicko’ stands for national inter-club knock out — and we’re one of several teams representing London’s Young Chelsea. It’s the first time I’ve played in the event, and I’ve had great fun driving up and

Toby Young Toby Young

It’s time you made some enemies, George

Dear George Osborne, I thought it worth passing along some advice about your new job. I’ve never edited a news-paper, but I’ve been in the business for 32 years and I’ve seen a fair few come and go. I’ve also worked for the Evening Standard in various capacities. Indeed, my first job in journalism was doing shift work on Londoner’s Diary. That’s not a bad place to start on Fleet Street (your predecessor did) and you could do worse than sit at the desk for a few weeks. Liz Smith, the veteran American newspaper columnist, describes gossip as ‘news wearing a red dress and running ahead of the pack’ and

Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 4 May 2017

Q. I have a very good cleaner who comes once a week. She is far more efficient than anyone I’ve had in the past. But recently she has begun taking off her shoes and socks at the front door and cleaning in her bare feet, which I find utterly disgusting. How do I ask her to stop this ritual without risking losing her? —M.L., London SW10 A. Leave verruca treatment creams in ‘recent use’ positions in your bathroom and walk around in bare feet yourself. With luck she will put two and two together. If not, allude to your ailment and suggest she puts on her footwear to avoid contamination.

Dot Wordsworth

Compliance

Ralph Bathurst was accused shortly after his death in 1704 of being ‘suspected of Hypocrisy and of mean Complyance’. I am not quite sure what particular hypocrisy was meant, but the accuser was Thomas Hearne, a cranky but principled antiquary in the mould of Anthony Wood. Hearne resented not being able to accept appointments such as librarian of the Bodleian because he would not take the oath to King William after he took the throne in 1689. Bathurst had felt able to accept the Deanery of Wells while retaining the presidency of Trinity College, Oxford, so he was obviously a little flexible, even if he was a great man, a

The Spectator

Barometer | 4 May 2017

Spend, spend, spend London mayor Sadiq Khan ended support for the Garden Bridge, probably killing it off. How are other public projects going? — Manchester City Council spent £3.5 million blocking a right of way with a glass pod and iron gates likened to Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream’. — Birmingham City Council proposes to spend £10 million on a water feature and new lights in Centenary Square. — Trafford Council spent £16,000 on a stone in Altrincham bearing the words ‘market’ and ‘1290’. — Since 2005, Belfast City Council has spent £104,650 on portraits of its lord mayors. Gap years Emmanuel Macron’s wife is 24 years older than him. How unusual is this?

The Spectator

The cult of the prima doctor

Ian Paterson, a ‘charming’ breast surgeon with a ‘God complex’, has been found guilty of intentionally wounding patients by carrying out ‘extensive, life-changing operations for no medically justifiable reason’, probably to enrich himself. It raises a long-standing question. The brilliant Greek doctor Galen (129-216 ad) was the most famous doctor in the Roman Empire. In all, he may have written c. 500 medical treatises, of which more than 120 (c. three million words) survive. His influence on medical practice was to last into the 17th century. He wrote on ‘medical theory and practice, ranging from anatomy, physiology, pathology, diagnosis and prognosis, dietetics, therapeutics, pharmacology and surgery, gynaecology, embryology and the

The Spectator

Portrait of the week | 4 May 2017

Home Jean-Claude Juncker, the president of the European Commission, told Theresa May after dinner with her on 26 April, ‘I’m leaving Downing Street ten times more sceptical than I was before,’ according to an account in Frankfurter Allgemeine Sonntagszeitung. At the dinner, also attended by Michel Barnier, the EU’s chief negotiator, and David Davis, the Brexit Secretary, Mrs May was said to have declared that Britain was not legally obliged to pay the EU ‘a penny’; Mr Juncker said ‘the EU is not a golf club’ with a subscription that could be cancelled at any time. ‘Let us make Brexit a success,’ May is said to have remarked, to which

Doc

2308: Landmark

This puzzle is a landmark for D(0)C: his first crossword appeared in The Spectator in the issue dated July 4th 1981 and his puzzles have appeared almost every third week since then. The unclued lights (three of two words) and the others when paired correctly represent initially the total which D(0)C reaches with this puzzle.   Across 7    This week’s theme has nothing in it for me! (3) 11    Channel’s only books (6) 13    Fruit and nuts (7) 15    Capital loss had affected savings accounts, originally (5) 16    Players training in small college court (5) 17    Welcome note during auction (6) 18    Wearing a hat, with a glazed look? (5) 20   

Harry Mount

My Prince Philip story

Prince Philip has died at the age of 99. When he retired four years ago, Harry Mount reflected on his meeting with the Duke of Edinburgh and his sense of public service.  A friend of mine’s father — who knows Prince Philip — calls him ‘a kind of semi-deity’. I realise that’s laying it on a bit thick, when it comes to sycophancy to the Royal Family. But he’s certainly a quite extraordinary figure: a 95-year-old war hero, who has been working solidly and loyally for nearly 70 years alongside his wife. In November, he and the Queen celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary. This morning’s announcement from Buckingham Palace — that he’s

Ed West Ed West

Prince Philip, the timeless rebel

The Duke of Edinburgh is finally to retire in the autumn, after more than 70 years of public service, just after his 96th birthday. Philip – a former first lieutenant in the Navy – is one of the last prominent figures in British life to have served in the second world war; he’s also possibly the only one worshipped as a living god, as far as I know. Yet this man at the very heart of the British Establishment has come to be known as a sort of arch-reactionary, an English colonel figure who goes around insulting foreigners ­­– either to our amusement or utter horror. He was once, in the

Doc

to 2305: Whodunnit?

The unclued lights are trios of Cluedo © rooms at 1A, 14A and 40, weapons at 6, 13 and 14, and suspects at 5, 27 and 36. The solution to the crime are the highlighted HALL, ROPE and PLUM.   First prize P. Langdale, London N11 Runners-up Matthew Cawthorne, Watford, Hertfordshire; Barry Fisher, Bramhall, Stockport

Camilla Swift Camilla Swift

Welcome to the era of the boring Royals

The news that Prince Philip will be retiring from his royal duties from August is a terrible blow. It’s entirely fair, of course. The Prince, after all is 95, and will be 96 by the time he retires. He has done far more than his share of Royal duties; last year he had 219 official engagements in the UK, and he’s Britain’s longest serving consort in history. But it’s still a terrible shame, because where will the fun be in the royal family without Prince Philip?  I remember nervously waiting in a queue at St. James’s Palace to receive my Gold Duke of Edinburgh’s award  – which was, of course,

Lynne Bateson

Giving money to beggars does more harm than good

I still feel bad about the beggar I ignored years ago. Fear of being mugged while fumbling for money has often kept me walking past beggars. But on that occasion I felt safe since I was with friends. Wimpishly, I took my cue from them. Later we compared notes – we’d all felt a strong urge to give. Some of us never give, others always do, and, some like me, agonise, summoning instinct to make snap decisions, then fretting we’ve made the wrong ones. Lately, I’ve been wondering if I should always walk on by, though reasons to give freely tug at my heartstrings. Contrary to urban myth, those asking

Brendan O’Neill Brendan O’Neill

Marine Le Pen has come out with the best political line of the year

It was the best line of the night. The best line of the campaign, in fact. It might even prove to be the best political line of the year, though it’s unlikely to be acknowledged as such, because of who uttered it. It was Marine Le Pen. Fixing Emmanuel Macron in a surprisingly friendly glare during last night’s televised debate, the last one before the ballot boxes open in Sunday’s presidential election, she said the following:  ‘France will be led by a woman – it will be either me or Mrs Merkel.’ Wow. And also: ouch. It’s the definition of a killer line. It had it all. It instantly emasculated

Laura Whitcombe

How to check, amend and repair your credit record

When was the last time you checked your credit history? This vitally important information can seriously affect many aspects of your financial life, from your ability to get a smartphone contract to obtaining a mortgage. Every time you apply to borrow money, the lender will run a search on you to try and determine how likely it is that you’ll be able to repay them. This information is held by credit reporting companies including Experian, Equifax and CallCredit in the form of a credit report. The report is a summary of credit accounts you’ve had during the past six years and can include details of any credit cards, loans, mortgages, overdrafts,

Mary Wakefield Mary Wakefield

At the cutting edge

There’s a graveyard inside Henry Marsh’s head, though you’d never guess it to look at him. There he sits in his elegant flat in a small castle on a small island in the Oxford Thames: 67, attractive, restless. There he sits with the world all around him: Persian rugs, French tapestries, Japanese prints and his beautiful blonde wife (the anthropologist Kate Fox) in a separate flat below. But the ghosts of past patients are never far away. Henry Marsh is a brain surgeon, celebrated for his skill in operating on patients under just local anaesthetic. He’s famous also for his astonishing memoir Do No Harm, to which he’s now written

Bruce Anderson

A very British bildung

Over the long weekend I read a couple of bildungs-romans; one a revisit after many years, the other a recent work. In Hemingway’s words, A Moveable Feast was about living in Paris ‘when we were very poor and very happy’. The poverty was relative. Hemingway did occasionally have to skip lunch, but there was always enough to drink, even if some of it, from Corsica or Cahors — rough in those days — was better mixed with water. Fishermen still plied the banks of the Seine. Simple restaurants sold the catch, delicious with Muscadet, and our author does not mention ill effects. Nor does he inflict any on his readers.