Society

Thursday

Peter Jones

How to succeed, Roman-style

Whatever Prince Andrew has done, the succession to our throne is secure. How envious the Roman emperor Augustus would have been! In vain did he offer rewards for faithful marriage and punishments for adultery and such like. The mildest punishment was temporary expulsion from Roman territory; the harshest, banishment in perpetuity to an ‘island or oasis’, with loss of property and citizenship, and death for returning. But Augustus’s only child, Julia, who had five children, took advantage of her husband’s lengthy spells abroad and had (it appears) many lovers, and even assignations in the middle of the forum. She explained the improbable fact that all her children were the very

Matthew Parris Matthew Parris

The lost art of the insult

Imagine I were to begin this column by remarking that a woman preaching is like a dog walking on its hind legs. It is not done well, but you’re surprised to find it done at all. Dear me, that would never do, even in as cheeky a magazine as The Spectator. Then try instead: ‘Dr Johnson was no admirer of the female sex. “A woman’s preaching,” he said, “is like a dog’s walking on his hinder legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.”’ I could get away with that. An antiquated opinion, safely attributed to an 18th-century writer, enclosed behind quotation

Luke McShane

European Teams

I felt a flush of optimism as England began our final game at the European Team Championships, held in Batumi earlier in October. The previous evening, my teammate Gawain Maroroa Jones had escaped with a draw in a marathon six-hour game, tying the match against a strong Dutch team. That left us paired against the leading team, Ukraine, in the final round. On paper it was an even match, but Ukraine had suffered a setback against Azerbaijan in the previous round, so we had realistic hopes of a podium finish – and even a theoretical chance of gold if the stars aligned.     I knew not to underestimate my 16-year-old

Rachel Johnson

The day I got naked with the Germans

A man called Gianluca and I mounted the steps to the Friedrichsbad in pensive silence. We hadn’t made eye contact since we’d met in reception at our hotel, the divine Brenners, for this rendezvous with destiny. At the front desk, we were sternly reminded again of the dress code. We nodded. For the next three hours we were going to be stark naked in a 19th-century, Renaissance-themed, domed and frescoed temple to the God of Thermal Springs, adorned with hand-painted majolica tiles, statuary and a sequence of pools and chambers. ‘Kein Textil,’ the woman repeated. After removing every stitch, we processed to the shower room – me checking that the

Toby Young Toby Young

Goodbye and good riddance to ‘non-crime’

The congratulatory messages started pouring in shortly after 5.30 p.m. on Monday. The Metropolitan Police had just issued a press release saying that the force would no longer investigate ‘non-crime hate incidents’ (NCHIs) and people were chalking this up as a victory for the Free Speech Union, the organisation I run. That may seem a bit of a stretch, but the Met linked the decision to its failed pursuit of Graham Linehan, the comedy writer it arrested at Heathrow airport in September over three tweets taking the piss out of trans-rights activists. It was thanks in part to the FSU, which pulled together Graham’s legal team, that the Met decided

Melissa Kite

The failed evolution of the horse

The thoroughbred looked cross, with flared nostrils and a pinched expression, so I should have known what was about to happen. It’s always bad news when the mare’s serene beauty drains out of her face and she affects a look like a female daytime television panel member. She turned round and bit me as I led her in from the field, and she only ever does that when she’s trying to tell me something. In the barn, she nibbled a strand of hay from her net, and spat it back out. Then she turned herself round in circles several times, before buckling her knees and collapsing herself like a folding

Robin Oakley

My most profitable day on a racecourse ever

The Champions Day finale at Ascot gave us, as it should, the best race of the season. Thanks to weather patterns that for once provided not soggily risky October ground but perfect ‘good’ going, few quality horses ducked the meeting. In the Champion Stakes, arguably the three best ten-furlong horses in Europe – Delacroix from Ireland, Ombudsman from England and Calandagan from France – took each other on. In the Eclipse, Aidan O’Brien’s Delacroix had chinned Ombudsman in the dying strides. Delacroix then collected the Irish Champion Stakes at Leopardstown, with Ombudsman absent because his trainer John Gosden didn’t fancy ‘running against multiple entries from one stable on a track

Roger Alton Roger Alton

From South Africa to Saracens, two rugby stars are born

Moments when a 24-carat superstar bursts on the scene are few and far between, but always something to cherish. And we rugby fans have had two in the past few weeks. First came the dazzling performance by Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu, the Springbok No 10 who tore apart a powerful Argentina side in Durban in September, scoring a record 37 points with three tries, eight conversions and two penalties. With his effortless running and velvet touches all over the field, he suddenly gives the traditional raw power of the Boks an explosive new dimension. He is compellingly watchable, only 23, and will soon be as much of a benchmark of rugby excellence

Janet de Botton

Bridge | 25 October 2025

‘Greed is good,’ announced Gordon Gekko, in what became a definitive clarion call for the 1980s. But as we all regretfully know, greed often ends in disaster. Have you ever sat over a pint after the game with the hand records in front of you and said: ‘Jolly lucky I didn’t double that four spades. They could run to four no-trumps and make it!’ It’s true, they could, but in general they won’t. Successful run-outs occur rather seldom, but when they do they’re almost always spectacular. This hand from the World Bridge Tour in Copenhagen last month impressed. West could have collected 100 in 5♥️ undoubled, but he understandably thought

Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How can I turn down invitations without offending people?

Q. I was recently lent six books by a friend I see regularly for yoga. I was bemoaning the fact I didn’t have a novel on the go and she said she would bring one or two she has really enjoyed for me to borrow. I have read one and started another but I can tell they are not really for me. How do I get around this conundrum without insulting her taste in literature? – H.E., Tavistock, Devon A. Can you return them saying you ended up only reading one because you’ve rediscovered your passion for something like knitting? Also do say what you thought of the one you

Tanya Gold Tanya Gold

Almost too interesting for Notting Hill: Speedboat Bar reviewed

When you are old enough, you can measure your life in restaurants. I remember, for instance, when the Electric Diner on Portobello Road (named for a long ago and far away war) was a place to eat brunch, a meal that shouldn’t exist and doesn’t really, though if it belongs anywhere it belongs here. It was fine but glib – Notting Hill is either a place with no imagination or too much of it, I’m still not sure. How it can tolerate the truth of Grenfell Tower across the way I don’t know either, but I don’t live here. The diner is gone, replaced by a Thai restaurant that is

Luke McShane

No. 873

A variation from Kourkoulos-Arditis-Maroroa Jones. The Greek grandmaster playing White went wrong and lost the game, but could have aimed for this position, where White has a brilliant winning move. Which one? Email answers to chess@spectator.co.uk by Monday 27 October. There is a prize of a £20 John Lewis voucher for the first correct answer out of a hat. Last week’s solution 1 Qa8! After 1…Bxb3 or 1…Kxa1 2 Qh8# or 1…Kxb3 2 Qxa2# Last week’s winner David Klein, Finedon, Northamptonshire

Victoria Lane

Spectator Competition: Daylight saving

For Competition 3422 you were invited to submit a poem or passage on the theme of ‘daylight saving’. In a very good batch, once again the poetry bubbled to the top. There are too many close runners-up to name names, and it seems best to maximise space for winners. The £25 vouchers go to the following. In honour of Surrey housebuilder William Willett, who first suggested it for the UK in a 1907 pamphlet If you can lower fuel bills for the lowly And make them use the sun for heat instead; If you can make the cows chew cud more slowly So milkmaids have an extra hour in bed;

Dot Wordsworth

What does ‘potash’ have to do with potassium?

‘“I am not screwed,” replied the Caterpillar, solemnly. “Whisky and potass does not agree with everybody; but I am not screwed, not at all.” So speaking he sat down rather suddenly.’ By screwed he meant ‘drunk’ of course. The Caterpillar is not the one in Alice in Wonderland but the nickname of a fifth-former in a book you might not wish your wife or your servants to read. It is The Hill by Horace Annesley Vachell (1905) about boys at Harrow, more particularly the love between them. Surprisingly it caused no outrage at the time. The Caterpillar was drunk on whisky, then sometimes mixed with potassium bicarbonate water. In Doctor

The Spectator

Portrait of the week: Downfall of a duke, double-decker trains in the Chunnel and no more chocolate Penguins

Home Prince Andrew said he would no longer use his titles, including as Duke of York, or his honours; his former wife will be known as Sarah Ferguson and no longer Duchess of York. The posthumous memoirs of Virginia Giuffre repeated her allegations of sexual abuse against him, which he has denied. George Abaraonye, who had rejoiced at the death of the right-wing US campaigner Charlie Kirk, was prevented from becoming president of the Oxford Union by a no-confidence vote against him. Lady Annabel Goldsmith died aged 91. Aston Villa was told by the advisory group responsible for issuing match safety certificates that no Maccabi Tel Aviv fans would be

La Jerezana

2726 : Two against one

Eight unclued entries include the names of an event and six who took part, and a memorial to one of them. Across 1 Cushions lacking covers in many cases (5) 6 A postscript in court case with three recesses (8) 14    Druggie runs to the back in deceptive manoeuvre (4) 15    Declares bananas changed size (8) 17    Program united international military defensive support (5) 21    Song in favour of cage for birds (11) 24    Alternately sulky and sneaky (3) 26    Thugs regularly absconding with very large truck (3) 28    Reportedly chivalrous at the end of each day (7) 29    British cooking guru tucked into French onion braised in red wine

Tom Gross

The westerners helping Hamas win the propaganda war

After two years of war, and despite Israel’s many successes on the battlefield, Hamas can also claim a kind of victory – at least for now. The terror group has survived and is once again exerting control in the areas of Gaza under its authority. Public executions, whippings, stonings and kneecappings have returned. In the first five days of the ceasefire, Hamas executed at least 100 Gazans. Hamas’s survival was achieved not only through its remaining fighters and its holding of hostages, but also thanks to a chorus of western apologists. A coalition of so-called progressives and professional activists has excused, rationalised and defended the group’s actions across universities and

The Spectator

2723: Not like us – solution

Unclued lights are pairs of words as referred to in the UK and US: 1A/28, 10/26D, 14/40, 24/41 and 36/7. First prize Jeremiah Carter, Cambridge Runners-up Geoffrey Goddard, Hastingwood, Essex; Lucy Robinson, Oxford

Rod Liddle Rod Liddle

George Abaraonye deserves his downfall

Contrary to what I had expected, the Oxford Union president-elect, George Abaraonye, lost his vote of no confidence by a whopping margin and will now have to resign. More than 70 per cent of Union members voted for the semi-literate, dreadlocked leftie to lose his job following his apparent delight at the murder of Charlie Kirk. Intimidation and hostility was reported as his supporters sought to disrupt proceedings by hampering the work of the returning officer and Abaraonye, in the manner of a presidential candidate who has been defeated in a general election in a country composed largely of what we are now enjoined to call the global majority, refused