Society

Thursday

Mary Killen

Your problems solved | 1 August 2019

Q. I took an old friend to Bellamy’s for lunch. We were just settling in for a proper gossip when a couple I know were shown to the next table. Now, I’m on good terms with these two, but for various reasons I don’t want to be on better terms. Nor did I want them eavesdropping. As a result my friend and I raced our way through watermelon salad, iced lobster soufflé and îles flottant and found ourselves standing outside earlier than we needed have. What should we have done? — Name and address withheld A. You need only have outlined your dilemma to a member of Bellamy’s staff. All

Dot Wordsworth

Esquire

‘I’m a learned doctor,’ cried my husband, pulling at the hems of his tweed coat and doing a little jig. He’d heard that Jacob Rees-Mogg had directed his office to use Esq of all non-titled males. There’s something of the Charles Pooter about Esquire. Its last redoubt had been envelopes from the Inland Revenue. Since it became HM Revenue & Customs, honorifics have melted away. Americans use Esquire principally of attorneys, who do creep into British notions of those reckoned by courtesy gentlemen, and hence called Esquire. Deploying Esquire is a question of U and non-U language; the higher snobbism currently favours its disuse. But when Shakespeare and his father

Doc

2419: Figures in place

The unclued lights (individually or one pair) are of a kind. But, before entry into the grid, all but one has to be adapted figuratively speaking, so that one or two characters appear in an unchecked square.   Across   4    Most Britons could become members of a band (11) 11    I’ll join regiment under canvas, on the move (7) 13    Was boisterous – I’ll return, danced around (9) 14    Animal, one with fur on (5) 16    Dirty article removed for relation (5) 19    Aim is to keep safe, that’s for certain (7) 21    In torpid lethargy (4) 23    Danced the night away in hell with secondary pupil (7) 24   

Penny Mordaunt

Diary – 1 August 2019

I begin the week in Bamako, Mali, with a crackly telephone call to Commodore Dean Bassett, UK Maritime Component Commander in the Gulf. He informs me that HMS Montrose and the Maritime Trade Operation has seen 30 ships safely through the Strait of Hormuz. These ships had been given 24 hours’ notice for their transit. Another, Stena Impero, had not made it through. Montrose was given only 60 minutes notice for her transit. Despite increasing to flank speed, she was 20 minutes too late and steamed into the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. The anger and disappointment is evident in the Commodore’s voice as he professionally delivers his report. I thank him

Cassandra Coburn

A bug in the system

I’ve lost track of the number of features I’ve seen joyfully hailing the edible insect revolution, entitled ‘Grub’s up!’ Barclays has released a report which predicts that the market for edible insects will hit $8 billion by 2030, and you can already buy Smoky BBQ Crunchy Roasted Crickets in Sainsbury’s. Research last month showed that certain species of edible insect contain higher quantities of antioxidants than freshly squeezed orange juice. Bugs are officially on track to become not just the ethical and environmental solution to protein provision, but a superfood as well. But wait. As with most food fads, these pronunciations are coming early, and are based on scant evidence.

Paul Burke

Just do it

Am I allowed to mention Nigel Farage? Of course I am, this is The Spectator, and its readers enjoy analysing all kinds of people and ideas, even those they find unpalatable. Readers of Campaign, however, aren’t quite as broad-minded. Campaign is the trade magazine of the advertising industry, and when it published an interview with Farage some of its readers went into meltdown. Why? Surely Farage is the ideal subject for Campaign. He’s connected with millions of loyal consumers in ways other brands can only dream of. You’d think that people in the advertising world would want to hear how he did it, given that building brands and connecting with

The Spectator

to 2416: Silence

Each unclued light contains a SILENT letter (with 11 containing two). First prize P.L. Macdougall, London SW6 Runners-up Sir Graeme Davies, Farndon, Newark; Hugh Schofield, Paris

Steerpike Steerpike

Google’s eco-warriors forget to check their privilege

It’s well known that all good Silicon Valley billionaires these days have one issue that is firmly at the top of their agenda. So it’s no surprise that when the owners of the tech behemoth Google hosted their seventh ‘Google Camp’ – a private, three day conference for the rich and famous on the southwest coast of Sicily – they chose climate change as the theme for their party. While the guest-list for the event remains a closely-guarded secret, it’s been reported that pretty much every member of the elite who is committed to tackling climate change – and used to lecturing other people about their carbon footprint – is

Bruce Anderson

A wine of Boris’s vintage

My host twinkled sardonically. ‘We’re bound to be discussing Boris. So what’s the right wine?’ I suggested a bunker-busting Australian Shiraz, preceded by an alluring, minxy champagne: cuvée Madame Claude. ‘No, we need something intellectual, to bring perspective.’ ‘That sounds like Graves, perhaps a Pessac-Leognan.’ ‘Got it in one. Came across a couple of bottles the other day. La Mission Haut-Brion ’64 — the year Boris was born.’ In personality, the bottles were everything that a mature claret ought to be, with no resemblance to Boris. Perhaps a little less fruit than there would have been five years ago, but these were well-tempered wines, with subtlety, structure and a length

Rory Sutherland Rory Sutherland

Is the future flexible?

Today we suffer disillusion, not because we are poorer than we were — on the contrary, even today we enjoy, in Great Britain at least, a higher standard of life than at any previous period — but because other values seem to have been sacrificed and because they seem to have been sacrificed unnecessarily, inasmuch as our economic system is not, in fact, enabling us to exploit to the utmost the possibilities for economic wealth afforded by the progress of our technique, leading us to feel that we might as well have used up the margin in more satisfying ways. If you finished that paragraph and thought ‘Gosh, Sutherland has

The Spectator

A poll of the people

The Need For A Poll Of The People, 2 August 1919: ‘It is not to be wondered at that during the anxious public discussions about nationalisation, proposals should have been made that the great issue should be decided by means of a Referendum or, as we prefer to call it, a Poll of the People. It is noticeable that this suggestion has received support in quarters where the Poll of the People has not hitherto been favourably considered. The idea seems to be that an exceptional and very grave problem might be solved by exceptional means. Of course, as old and strong advocates of the Poll of the People, we are

Rod Liddle Rod Liddle

Gisborough Priory

Gisborough Priory was founded in 1119, although the gothic chunks which remain of it today — including the grimly magnificent east end — date largely from the 13th century. A fire had destroyed much of the original building. It has great antiquity, then, nestled on the northern edge of the North York Moors in the market town of Guisborough, within spitting distance of (still, just about) industrial Teesside. The place has always had a certain resonance for me, not least because it adjoins the graveyard of St Nicholas Church, which was an important venue for somewhat brusque and pragmatic courtships when I was an early teen. Late at night, in

Lionel Shriver Lionel Shriver

All money is dirty

Whitney museum: no space for profiteers of state violence // dismantle patriarchy // warren kanders must go! // supreme injustice must end // we will not forget // choking freedom is a crime // enough // greed is deadly // humanity has no borders // we grieve the harm… If that array of posters paving the entrance to New York’s Whitney Museum of American Art hasn’t plunged you into such an insensate catatonia that the print has blurred, here’s the drill. For months protesters have been campaigning to have Warren B. Kanders, the museum’s vice chairman, who’s already donated $10 million to the institution, removed from the board. Eight artists

Martin Vander Weyer Martin Vander Weyer

Is ‘turbocharging’ the new code for Keynesian crisis spending?

‘Turbocharging’: sounds exciting, doesn’t it? Two weeks ago, I noted that our incoming PM had deployed this power-word — with its subliminal reminder of his pedal-to-the-metal reputation as the former motoring correspondent of GQ — to describe what ‘free ports’ would do to regional economies. Since then, it has clearly been scrawled on Dominic Cummings’s Downing Street whiteboard: Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab and Chief Secretary to the Treasury Rishi Sunak were also bandying it around this week. In one sense it just seems to mean ‘energising’; in another, I suspect it’s a synonym for something no free-market cheerleader for the new cabinet would ever admit is a good thing: a

Ross Clark Ross Clark

An alternative route

Just 48 hours before the conclusion of the Conservative leadership contest, Allan Cook, chairman of HS2, wrote to the government to confess that the costs of the project could rise from the current projection of £56 billion to as much as £86 billion. Given that Boris had already announced that he is to review the project, it was pretty much akin to a condemned prisoner writing a letter of confession. The Prime Minister is not fond of doomsters and gloomsters who pooh-pooh things for the sake of it, and as we know is partial to the odd vanity project. More-over, he seems as fond of trains as he is of

Matthew Parris Matthew Parris

Remainers, Leavers, post-imperial dreamers

Our involuntary responses know us better than we know ourselves. As I left King Charles Street in Whitehall last week and passed under the archway into the great court of the Foreign Office — and before I knew where it came from or why — an old and familiar feeling inhabited me. Dejection. This is where I started my working life as an administrative trainee, and those two years were a wretched time: a gradual understanding stealing upon me that I had no talent for this job. This courtyard was the opening scene of my every working day. It struck misery into my soul then, and 45 years later it

Lucy Vickery

To bee or not to bee

In Competition No. 3109 you were invited to submit a short story entitled ‘The Last Bumble Bee’. The buff-tailed bumblebee, Bombus terrestris, was once voted Britain’s favourite insect, and this challenge seemed to strike a chord, inspiring stories that ranged from the topical to visions of a near-future of drone pollinators and enforced entomophagy. The winners earn £25 each. As B. came buzzing over the common, he noticed that he was alone. Where were his erstwhile friends? he wondered idly. They seemed to have packed up their hives and vanished, although some, he realised, had switched sub-genus, and were describing themselves as rumblebees, jumblebees, even zomblebees. Very discombobulating. Were they

Wednesday

Joanna Rossiter Joanna Rossiter

Prince Harry and Meghan’s made-to-measure morality

Prince Harry’s revelation that he intends to only have two children for the sake of the planet is woke politics at its worst. As his critics have readily pointed out, if he truly believes that having fewer children will save the planet then why not stop at one child? As much as Harry might like us to believe that his decision comes at a great personal cost, he has simply adopted an ethical stance that best suits his lifestyle. This made-to-measure approach to morality is everywhere these days: from so-called ‘flexi-veganism’ to the long-haul flights enjoyed by some supporters of Extinction Rebellion. It enables people to signal virtue without having to change very