Society

James Delingpole

The joy of boredom

After an hour’s beach work I was just about done. I’d read some book, I’d skimmed the papers, I’d eaten some bits of cheese on some oat biscuits (the closest I’ll concede to picnics, which I hate), I’d drunk some water as per my instructions from the Fawn (‘Drink some water! You never drink enough water’), I’d dried off from the swim, I’d got a pair of very numb buttocks after sundry failed attempts to get comfy on the not very flat rock: surely I’d done enough now to earn my release? But I knew I’d never be allowed to get away with it. Not this soon. The Boy, maybe:

The evil weed

A sea of bright yellow flowers in a sun- drenched meadow… what could be more idyllic? Sadly, all that glisters in the English countryside is most definitely not gold. Ragwort. A few stray stems of this iconic weed growing in a field of grass is enough to draw a stream of expletives from any horse owner or cattle farmer. The daisy-like weed, which flowers from late June into early autumn, is highly toxic and spreads like wildfire. It kills horses so painfully that the RSPCA could prosecute you if your pony is grazing among it. If you rub it on your skin, you risk breaking out in a painful rash.

Porn power

If ever you find yourself bored and with 15 minutes to spare, I recommend looking up Pornhub’s annual report, the closest thing you will get to a statistical breakdown of the planet’s libido. Here you will discover that the average visit to Pornhub lasts nine minutes 59 seconds; that the most popular time to watch porn is a Sunday evening; and that sexual tastes for the most part tend to follow cultural lines, with English-speakers prizing lesbian material most highly, and eastern Europeans on the whole preferring anal. There’s nothing new about porn, and humans have been trying to get their hands on it pretty much since they left the

A new Jerusalem

In Competition No. 3060 you were invited to provide an updated version of ‘Jerusalem’ starting with the words ‘And did those tweets…’One of my favourite parodies of Blake’s poem is by Allan M. Laing. In it he describes the wartime blackouts:   Bring me my torch of waning power! Bring me my phosphor button bright! Bring me my stick — O, dreadful hour! That brings the darkness of the night!   Laing was a colossus of literary competitions and his successors — veterans and newcomers alike — continue to shine in these pages. In a crowded and lively field this week, honourable mentions go to Nicholas Stone, David Silverman, Brian

What does the future look like for Apple?

In case you missed it,  Apple’s market capitalisation has now hit the $1trillion mark – something which is as mind boggling as it was inevitable. Everyone with a newswire, Twitter feed and website seems to have latched onto the milestone. You’d have thought they’d all successfully predicted this event on 1 April 1976, when the company was founded. But the question now is whether the valuation has made a fool of all of us? According to Mike Ingram, Chief Market Strategist at WH Ireland, ‘In just over a decade Apple has transformed itself from a niche tech company for nerds to a global consumer goods powerhouse. While it currently deserves its

This silly season, why not panic about global warming?

It all started so well. When the BBC decided that the good weather had gone on long enough to make it newsworthy, they invited the Met Office’s Stephen Belcher on to Newsnight, no doubt hoping that he would fan the flames with some lurid claims about how we were all going to fry in years to come. They were therefore no doubt thoroughly disappointed by his rather measured response, and his suggestion that that it was ‘probably part of natural cycles in the weather, but… superimposed on [a] background of global warming’. However, as the warm spell has turned into a heatwave, environmental correspondents in the media have been unable

Best Buys: Easy access savings accounts | 7 August 2018

Finding a savings account that allows you to collect any interest at all – while still having access to your cash when you want it – can be tricky. There are some options out there, though. Here are the best Easy Access savings accounts on the market at the moment, from data supplied by moneyfacts.co.uk.

The British government must not let Russia off the hook

On the day that Alexander Litvinenko was poisoned, Arsenal were hosting CSKA Moscow for the second leg of a Champions League group stage match. The game ended a goalless draw with the home side left frustrated by a series of squandered chances. Watching the game that evening from his box above the stands was Boris Berezovsky, the billionaire tycoon who had fled Russia six years earlier and been given political asylum in Britain. Two boxes over and former KGB officer Andrei Lugovoi was also watching the game. As he would later claim, Lugovoi had travelled from Moscow the day before to watch his home team in action. But Lugovoi also

Martin Vander Weyer

Valuations of tech stocks have become insanely high

What are we to make of a 19 per cent fall in both Facebook and Twitter shares at the end of last week, with Facebook shedding a barely imaginable $120 billion of value in a single day? Of course there are factors relating to performance: Twitter user numbers have been declining and Facebook’s profitability is under threat as it strives to clean up after the Cambridge Analytica scandal. But in short, what the sudden reversal tells us is that valuations of America’s leading tech stocks have become insanely high. The five leaders — Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netflix and Google, known acronymically as ‘faangs’ — are notionally worth more than the

Martin Vander Weyer

Tell us your broadband woes

My anecdote last week about upgrading to BT’s ‘superfast’ broadband provoked several readers, unasked, to tell me their own unsatisfactory experiences. So I thought we should compile a Spectator dossier on the subject — as we did to good effect on the issue of high street bank branch closures, on which your combined report reached the desks of a selection of banking’s top dogs. We did not persuade them to reverse the trend but I know we made them think about how to make it less irritating for customers. In the same spirit, feel free (if your wifi connection is working) to tell me how good or bad the broadband service is

Ross Clark

Another £43bn for HS2? How about some austerity instead

There is a big glaring problem for anyone trying to accuse the government of ‘austerity’ – a charge that is continuously laid by virtually all opposition parties. Just where does that charge fit in with HS2? True, the nation’s roads are full of potholes, the bins in some places are being emptied only once every three weeks and the NHS is trying to wriggle out of offering hernia operations – something it seemed to manage perfectly well to perform in 1948. But still it is a little hard to square the charge of austerity with a government planning to spend £56 billion of public money on a single railway line,

Stephen Daisley

Catholicism isn’t a pick ‘n’ mix – politicians like Andrew Cuomo must stop seeing it as such

I’m fairly certain the Pope’s a Catholic but Andrew Cuomo is anyone’s guess. Barely had the Holy Father revised Church teaching to declare capital punishment ‘inadmissible’ than the New York Governor tweeted this: The death penalty is morally indefensible and has no place in the 21st century. Today, in solidarity with @pontifex and in honor of my father, I will be advancing legislation to remove the death penalty from State law once and for all. https://t.co/BxFvym4YTB — Archive: Governor Andrew Cuomo (@NYGovCuomo) August 2, 2018 The scion of the Cuomo dynasty — the Kennedys remade for radio — is battling Sex and the City star turned progressive heroine Cynthia Nixon

Why those campaigning to categorise ‘Sikh’ as an ethnicity are wrong

When does a religion become an ethnic group? You may consider the premise of this question absurd – after all ethnicity is immutable, faith a choice. Bizarrely however, this has become the subject of a major dispute amongst British Sikhs. It hinges on whether or not a Sikh ‘ethnic’ tick-box should be included by the ONS in the 2021 Census. A voluntary question – ‘what is your religion?’ already exists, with ‘Sikh’ an option which 423,000 readily chose back in 2011. Back then a campaign resulted in 83,000 Sikhs refusing to select the available ethnicity tick boxes (eschewing Indian because of the Indian government’s betrayal of Sikhs in the 1980s),

Toby Young

I disapprove of what Sarah Jeong says, but I will defend her right to say it

Sarah Jeong, a 30-year-old journalist who’s just been hired by the New York Times, was trending on social media yesterday. The reason, predictably enough, is that she wrote a series of ill-judged tweets several years ago. Jeong is an Asian-American and, four years ago, expressed a number of racist sentiments about white people, whom she compared to ‘dogs’ and ‘groveling goblins’. ‘Oh man it’s kind of sick how much joy I get from being cruel to old white men,’ she wrote in 2014. The New York Times issued a statement yesterday defending their new hire and claiming that Jeong’s status as a person of colour went some way to excuse

Fraser Nelson

Wanted: an assistant digital editor for The Spectator

There has never been a better time to join The Spectator. Our sales are at a 190-year high, with growth driven by readers who get to know us through the website. The growth is continuing, and we’re creating some new positions. The first is that of an assistant digital editor whose duties will include: Being across the news agenda, spotting issues that would make for a good Coffee House blog or Steerpike (and liaising with the writers) Editing copy: fact checking, proof reading, ensuring articles are legally sound, picture research and (crucially) sharp headline writing. Using WordPress on a daily basis Writing effective social media lines Basic photoshop, uploading and

Gavin Mortimer

Forced marriage is the MeToo generation’s ‘no go’ subject

By now you’ve probably heard of Marie Laguerre. The 22-year-old student was punched in the face last week by a passer-by, a sickening attack that was caught on CCTV and has since gone viral. It’s caused uproar around the world, and is being seen as evidence of the physical and verbal abuse with which Frenchwomen have to contend all too often. Laguerre was struck because she gave short shrift to the obscene comments of a man who crossed her path on a busy Parisian street. Marlène Schiappa, France’s gender equality minister, described the incident as an assault on the “freedom of women”; Schiappa deserves much praise for her dominant role in

Rice gambit

The recent successful revival of the musical Chess, by Sir Tim Rice and the men of Abba, featured some genuine extracts from play in the staged re-enactments of decisive games. One of the most impressive — and most easy to identify even from a distance without opera glasses — was Bobby Fischer’s infamous and very loud rook swoop against grandmaster Pal Benko, who has just celebrated his 90th birthday. Fischer-Benko; US Championship, New York 1963 (diagram 1) White has a powerful attack but his problem is that the natural 19 e5 is met comfortably by 19 … f5, when Black has no problems. Fischer’s solution is startling. 19 Rf6! Fischer famously

no. 517

Black to play. This position is from the classic game Réti-Alekhine, Baden Baden 1925. What was Black’s next move? It does not win at once but it successfully fuels the flames of Black’s initiative. It also forms a thematic pendant to this week’s trio of three thunderous rook incursions. Can you find it? Answers to The Spectator by 7 August or via email to victoria@spectator.co.uk. There is a prize of £20 for the first correct answer out of a hat. Please include a postal address and allow six weeks for prize delivery. Last week’s solution 1 … Ne5 Last week’s winner John Samson, Midlothian

Letters | 2 August 2018

Memories of drought Sir: I read your leading article with interest as I well remember the hardship caused by the drought of 1976, particularly to the farmers and the tourist industry (‘Troubled water’, 28 July). I was a director of the South West Water Authority and was deputed to issue drought orders, which included hosepipe bans. The privatised company to which I had been appointed to the board then built Roadford Reservoir, which has a huge capacity, and the company has never had to impose restrictions since. I agree that the industry is far from satisfactory. The companies, particularly Thames Water, found it cheaper to allow leaking pipes than to

High life | 2 August 2018

On board S/Y Puritan   I’m sailing off the charred eastern coast of Athens where so many died last week, and I remain suspicious as hell. Fifteen or so fires starting simultaneously smells like arson to me, committed by scum who murder for a TV set, or set fires in order to loot abandoned houses. Sometime soon we Greeks will have to take matters into our own hands. Frontier justice will prevail. Mind you, the community of Mati, where most of the dead lived, was illegally built some 40 years ago, and only issued building permits after the fact. It is a middle-class community of mostly retired doctors and lawyers,