We had to remove the Hall of Mirrors
‘We had to remove the Hall of Mirrors because of complaints about body shaming.’
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Wednesday
Typical English summer
Could you love an electric campervan?
The Volkswagen ID Buzz is a pretty car, though so innocent-seeming you would forgive it anything. It succeeds the equally pretty T2 campervan, the Betty Boop of 1950s vehicles. The T2 was so convincing – cars, like everything, vary in charisma – it is one of the most famous vehicles in the world, so much so that I can’t think of one without seeing Don Draper’s face. Iconic is a stupid word, but the T2 was iconic, and in testament you will pay £20,000 for the bones of one, though you shouldn’t. I should have waited for Exeter and topped up at Bristol, as the delivery driver counselled, but I
Midsummer movies: what to watch on the longest day
The summer solstice (which falls today) has been a time of celebration and religious rituals since the dawn of mankind. Some associate the event with neo-druidic gatherings at Stonehenge and the like, others with ghastly human sacrifices to placate the Old Gods – while many see the solstice as simply a time to celebrate the longest day of the year with (relatively) innocent folkloric revels. But if you’d rather stay home and watch a film to mark the occasion, here are 15 worth your time. Midsommar (2019) – Netflix, Amazon Rent/Buy Ari Aster’s (Hereditary and upcoming Beau is Afraid) folk horror picture is very much in the vein of The Wicker
Tuesday
A 33-1 shot and other tips for Royal Ascot day two
The Royal Hunt Cup (tomorrow 5pm) is just the sort of big-field handicap that I relish. At first glance, finding the winner seems impossible with no less 30 runners charging down Ascot’s straight track and the draw having a big effect on the result. Perotto is a worthy favourite: he has proven form at the course and he is well handicapped on his best form. He has probably got a good draw in stall 30 but that’s by no means guaranteed. However, a couple of big-name tipsters have championed his chances over the past week and so odds of 7-1 or less make little appeal. David O’Meara’s Blue for You
Drivers beware: the rise of the vigilante cyclist
Do you ever break the law when driving? According to surveys, quite a few of us do – three in five drivers admit regularly speeding. And if that’s you, then be careful: Mike van Erp is out to get you. You may already know Mike. He’s the media-savvy cyclist (better known as Cycling Mikey) who has become a minor celebrity for his dashcam videos of rule-breaking drivers in London. Now his niche hobby is catching on. ‘There were almost 15,000 reports last year that led to the police taking action’ ‘I don’t think I’m even in the top ten cyclists reporting bad drivers in London,’ Cycling Mikey tells me over
The forgotten genius of Alfred Munnings
At first glance, the substantial yellow house on the turn of the country road could be a Trollopean rectory, one long sold off to a lawyer or boardroom executive. This is Castle House in north Essex – set in the flat, luscious landscape made famous by John Constable – which was for 40 years the home of the artist Sir Alfred Munnings. Since his death in 1959, it has been a museum dedicated to his life and work. There is an overwhelming sense of tranquillity, a peculiar bucolic permanence, like the memory of a hot sunny day from childhood Munnings, you may recall, painted horses – that’s what the Oxford Dictionary
Monday
Three tips for Royal Ascot tomorrow
Make no mistake, Ed Bethell is a young man going places in the racing world. He is talented trainer, charming with it and he knows how to place his horses to great advantage. Since taking over the trainer’s licence from his father James at the start of 2021, Bethell has nearly doubled the number of horses in the yard to around 60. This season alone, he has a superb record of 24 winners from just 84 runners for a success strike rate of 29 per cent. Horses such as the improving sprinter Regional, who has won both his races this season, are testament to Bethell’s skills. It’s only a matter
Olé the Swiss way
I would never attend a Spanish bullfight. I find the ‘sport’ abhorrent, from the enthusiasm of the crowd for blood and gore to the inevitable killing of the poor, innocent bull. I know it’s a cultural thing but that doesn’t make it civilized. I’m even hoping, during the famous annual ‘running of the bulls’ in Pamplona, that some idiot aficionado is flipped in the air, run through by a bull’s horns and will then wake up and realize what it’s like to be on the losing side in such a match. But Spain is not the only country in Europe where innocent bovines are attacked with a crowd cheering them
Glenda Jackson: a life in ten films
The actress and politician Glenda Jackson died last week at the age of 87. Her acting career moved effortlessly between stage, TV, and motion pictures, where Jackson proved a commanding presence in each. In 1992 she took a lengthy break from the acting world to become a Labour MP, exchanging the likes of co-stars George Segal, James Garner, and Jeff Goldblum for colleagues Dennis Skinner, Roy Hattersley, and John Prescott. Returning to stage, TV, radio, and film in 2015, Jackson had lost none of her thespian chops, continuing to rack up awards. Despite an occasionally stern public persona, she could easily turn her hand to comedy as much as serious drama,
Sunday
Why I’m with Boris Johnson on Ozempic
Seeing Boris Johnson’s byline in the Daily Mail, I felt a flare of the affection which made me break free from my blue-collar tribalism and vote Tory for the first time in 2019. I remember thinking that the experience was rather like losing one’s virginity; worrying about it for months, then secretly planning it, then taking the plunge and thinking the morning after – ‘Gosh, that was nothing to be scared of – I might even do it again!’ I’ve been quite the reprobate myself during my long, louche life, and I’ve certainly lied and adulterated, so of course I can’t condemn anything that I’ve done too, as that would make
Friday
A 14-1 tip for the Ascot Stakes on Tuesday
Fresh from plundering many of the major jumping prizes last season, Irish trainer Willie Mullins will head to Royal Ascot next week with plenty of chances in the big staying races on the flat. Predictably, the bookmakers are taking no chances and his most fancied horses for the two Tuesday staying handicaps are short-priced favourites: Bring On The Night for the Ascot Stakes and Vauban for the Copper Horse Handicap. Both horses are around 2-1 for their respective targets. Mullins could easily land a double but both horses look poor value in such competitive races. In the latter contest, I fancy a couple of horses who may not make the
Jack Grealish and the cult of feminine men
Like everyone else I’m enjoying the boozy antics of Man City’s Jack Grealish. He’s spent the last few days partying following Man City’s victory in the Champions League, behaving exactly how a 27-year-old who earns £15 million a year should behave. He’s having a ball and who can blame him? But there’s a difference between Grealish and the rowdier footballers of not so long ago – Wayne Rooney, say, or Gazza. It’s the accessories: Grealish keeps photographing himself in a pearl necklace. He and his Man City teammates have been seen clutching man bags that look suspiciously like handbags. Indeed, in 2021, Grealish was photographed wearing a £1500 Christian Dior
Ferrari’s glorious return to Le Mans 24 Hours
Last weekend, Ferrari contested the top category at the Le Mans 24 Hours for the first time in 50 years, and they took me along for the ride. The greatest endurance race in the world celebrated its centenary, and the grandstands and campsites were even more packed than usual – 325,000 fans descended on France’s La Sarthe region, many of them Brits making the journey over in their sports cars and motorhomes. For petrolheads, it’s Glastonbury with wheels. They come to see more than 60 cars, and their tag teams of three drivers each, driven to their limits and often beyond from 4pm on Saturday till 4pm Sunday. Durability –
The art of the insult in movies
As Rishi Sunak and Boris Johnson trade insults, here’s a look at some of the best – and most wounding – barbs in film. Full Metal Jacket (1987) Amazon Rent/Buy Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, the master of full-on, spittle-flecked abuse, eventually gets his comeuppance for belittling conscripted recruits in Stanley Kubrick’s Vietnam war classic. A prime example of Hartman’s cruelty is when he addresses Vincent D’Onofrio’s hapless Pyle: ‘Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o’ shit, Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?’ R. Lee Ermey, who played Hartman, had previously been a US Marine drill instructor in Vietnam and – with Kubrick’s enthusiastic urging
Wednesday
and my thanks to Boris
‘... and my thanks to Boris Johnson, without whom...’
Sorry, I’ve already sold my soul to the Saudis
‘Sorry, I’ve already sold my soul to the Saudis.’
What a day
‘What a day.’
Universal Basic Income
‘We’re here to claim Universal Basic Income.’
