Dave – 3 January 2014
Cartoons
Hangon
‘No, hang on, I tell a lie… I do like some modern art, mainly the Pointillists, Seurat, Signac, sometimes even Previati...’
legs
‘Forgive me for being so forward, but you have the most amazing legs.’
Drink 4
‘Have you been out drinking like a middle-aged person?’
Blubber
‘Cut down on the blubber.’
Nightmares
‘Nightmares, flashbacks, mood swings. Yes, I know you were in Vietnam, but that was on a package holiday last month.’
Adam
‘Serpent, Adam. Adam, Serpent. I thought it was about time you two met.’
Laddie
‘You’re not going to school in that skirt, laddie.’
Hooker
‘Oh, go on then — you can beat to death one more hooker, but then it’s off to bed for you, young man.’
Invention
‘You know, there may be a way to move your bizarre invention around without having to carry it.’
Smoking 3
‘You’re forcing me to passive-give-up-smoking.’
Paxman 2
‘Newsnight’s gone terribly downmarket.’
Contract
‘And this is how much money we’ll get if we make a complete mess of the contract.’