The Stepford students

‘Of course, the Victorians would have covered up the legs.’

‘That’s Mummy and Daddy and Daddy’s bit on the side.’

‘Teddy’s lactose-intolerant. Do you have any imaginary soya milk?’

‘I’m sorry to hear about your domestic problems, Hartley, but I can’t allow you to take it home.’

‘Is this one of those Christmas ad spectaculars?’

‘We must have got the date wrong. This isn’t the teddy bears’ picnic.’