Dave – 25 July 2013
Cartoons
Directions
‘Go past Jamie Oliver’s Diner, turn left at Marco Pierre White’s Bistro, carry on past the River Café and you’ll come to St Mary’s Church. The Food Bank is in the crypt.’
Banknotes
‘There’s a Page 3 bird here looking for a home.’
Tobacco
‘Anyone mind if I give in to the tobacco lobby?’
Softwoods
‘OK, here’s the deal.’
Righteous
‘Still suffering from righteous block?’
Londinium
‘It will cut the journey from Londinium to York by three weeks.’
Mess
‘Give me a break — you know I have trouble coping with old technology.’
Muse
‘You just watch TV all day and drink beer. Why, exactly, do you need a “muse”?’
Nhs 2
‘Bloody hell — it’s worse than we thought.’
Humpty
‘Nobody wears shell suits nowadays.’
Hosepipe
‘I’m using my hosepipe while I still can.’
Dogs 4
‘Why don’t these old country hotels have dinner gongs?’
Cigarettes
‘But do they have child filters?’
Nhs 3
‘Bloody hell — it’s worse than we thought.’
Tigers
‘I’m just saying, there seems something morally wrong about attacking a zebra in a wheelchair.’
Beach
‘I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky.’
