Diary

Diary – 28 November 2009

The man who invented the breathalyser more than 50 years ago was called Robert Borkenstein, a former policeman who had risen from the ranks to become head of the Department of Forensic Studies at Indiana University. He was very proud of his achievement. ‘If we can make life better simply by controlling alcohol, that’s a

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 21 November 2009

Monday Exciting trip to Norfolk for the ‘de-selection’. After a gruelling train journey east, Poppy and I tucked into a delicious spread in a heavenly tea shop with the biggest scones ever. Everything was so cheap! We bought two of everything in all the shops, and got some great deals on Haggarts Tweed. We then

Diary – 21 November 2009

Not a bad way to start the political week, picking up the Threadneedle/Spectator Award for parliamentary survivor of the year. I don’t win many awards, of any variety. The last one I recall was six years ago when I was transport secretary. Some motoring magazine named me ‘Most Boring Politician in Britain’. (Two years in

Diary – 14 November 2009

Not long ago, I astounded the men sitting next to me at a dinner party (yes, dinner parties still take place here and there) by saying that I thought Gordon Brown was handsome, and indeed had sex appeal. The men exclaimed that I had gone off my rocker. But the women within earshot immediately chipped

Diary of a Notting Hill nobody | 14 November 2009

Monday V difficult to know how to respond to this one. Sometimes, something is so sad that it is better to just let it go. We had a big brainstorming session on Sunday with policy people, image consultants, focus group teams. In the end, it was decided that Dave should go for it after all.

Diary – 7 November 2009

Many hands tore at the Berlin Wall. To a large extent it collapsed from its own weight, but we should acknowledge the shove given by European democrats, Pope John Paul II, the dissidents in the Soviet Union, and Arthur Schlesinger Jr and George Kennan, who defined the policies that contained communism without blowing up the

Diary of a Notting Hill nobody | 7 November 2009

Monday It wasn’t easy for Dave to come out and say it but he was really brave. Personally, I can’t see what all the fuss is about. We never said we were definitely going to have a referendum. Just that we definitely wanted to. There are a lot of things we definitely want to do.

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 31 October 2009

Monday Some v awkward people are deliberately misunderstanding what Dave said about women- only shortlists. We feel we must remind these people that troublemaking is fundamentally unConservative and that any further attempts to disrupt Compassionate Cameronian principles of compliance with the party line and non-resistance to the stated policy of the leadership will be met

Diary – 31 October 2009

On tour one develops air-conditioning paranoia. (I’ve just returned from a two-month Pet Shop Boys’ tour of North and South America, from Montreal to Lima.) You approach your latest hotel room with dread. How noisy is the air-conditioning? Can you turn it off? Is your room on the top floor directly under the main air-conditioning

Diary – 24 October 2009

Pope Benedict’s visit to Britain next year is a true historical landmark, as it will be the first official visit of a reigning pontiff in history. Pope Benedict’s visit to Britain next year is a true historical landmark, as it will be the first official visit of a reigning pontiff in history. John Paul II’s

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 17 October 2009

Monday Oh dear. What a sad day. Desperate calls from upset MPs to the Expenses Helpline. Many of them elderly and beside themselves with worry about how they are going to make the repayments. Some are even having to contemplate horrendous sacrifices such as selling paintings that have been in their family for centuries! Of

Diary – 17 October 2009

Santa Barbara It was a long way to go for a first night: the 10-hour flight to Los Angeles, then a two-hour drive along the Pacific Coast Highway to Santa Barbara, a place fondly, but somewhat inaccurately, known as the Californian Riviera — fine beaches but, alas, no warm Mediterranean sea. It was worth the expense

Diary – 10 October 2009

Alan Clark will always have a special place in my heart. He remains the only person ever to sue me for libel. I still occasionally have a nightmare in which he is personally cross-examining me in the witness box and the court is erupting in laughter at his sneering sallies and my flustered answers. What

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 10 October 2009

SUNDAY What a triumph! Sam launches conference with an Erdem Moralioglu jacket which is far more Modern and Compassionate than Sarah Brown’s Moralioglu dress. At just £500 off the peg, this truly is affordable fashion for the Age of Austerity and an example to all Britons of how to look good on a budget. Dave

Diary – 3 October 2009

A week to enjoy the autumn sunshine by the sea. Gluttony is no longer fashionable but what better way to celebrate my birthday on Monday than to spend a few hours at the Royal Native Oyster restaurant in Whitstable? Sitting by the Kent beach, I confess to consuming 24 oysters, a crab, a lobster, two

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 3 October 2009

So exciting! Where better for The Party of The North to hold its last conference before taking power than Manchester? This is a vibrant city with many shops, restaurants and nightclubs. The cultural scene is diverse, the tap water is drinkable, and local people are friendly and welcoming. That said, please dress casually (no club

Diary – 26 September 2009

‘Be very careful, Susans, I have find an adder in the wheelbarrow.’ ‘Nah, it’ll be a grass snake, Spiros.’ Stern glare. ‘Susans, don’t forget I am from Corfu.’ ‘OK, it’s an adder.’ All God’s creatures are welcome here — but an adder? I was treated for my wasp allergy by Professor David Warrell, a world

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 26 September 2009

Monday OMG! It’s all systems go on our Balls Containment Strategy. Thank goodness we had it ready and didn’t listen to those people, not naming any names (Lord M) who assured us Mr B would never stick his big square head above the parapet. He’s clearly in a different league to the Milibanana who never

Diary – 19 September 2009

Everywhere I go in Manhattan I meet British tourists. ‘Oi, Boris,’ they shout across the street, ‘who let you out, then?’ How come it is the Brits, with their puny devalued pounds, who are swarming through the streets of New York, when the New Yorkers have stopped coming to London? Tourism from North America to

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 19 September 2009

MONDAY Double code red alert: Dave’s going too grey! Huge postmortem into why we let a sprinkling of hairs which put him in touch with older voters escalate into whole patches of grey which led to an interviewer at the weekend uttering the T word*. Obviously there are things we can do to minimise impact