We’ve always had a bit of trouble stopping the boats
‘We’ve always had a bit of trouble stopping the boats’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
If he really wanted to save the planet, he’d throw soup at a Van Gogh
‘If he really wanted to save the planet, he’d throw soup at a Van Gogh.’
Wednesday
The sight of a politician
‘The sight of a politician in trouble always gets me going.’
Maybe there’s hope for the Tory party
‘If they can bring us back to life, maybe there’s hope for the Tory party.’
Wednesday
Keir Starmer has learned to roll over, babble and crawl
‘After one year Keir Starmer has learned to roll over, babble and crawl.’
Oh no!
‘Oh no! Trump’s still coming!’
Wednesday
Wednesday
If it’s world war three
‘If it’s world war three it’s time to head for the bunker!’
Wednesday
If the magic money tree can make a comeback…
‘If the magic money tree can make a comeback, I have high hopes for the future.’
Wednesday
Not Nigel Farage
‘Let’s be realistic about these wishes – I’m not Nigel Farage’
Wednesday
Mrs Goggins dies of old age before she gets compensation
‘In this one Mrs Goggins dies of old age before she gets compensation.’
Wednesday
I take photos of my fat jab
‘Now I no longer eat food, I take photos of my fat jab.’
Stopped the boats
‘I would have been more impressedif he’d stopped the boats.’
Wednesday
I tried following Nigel Farage and now I’m hooked
‘I tried following Nigel Farage and now I’m hooked.’
Will there ever be peace between David and Brooklyn Beckham?
‘Will there ever be peace between David and Brooklyn Beckham?’
Wednesday
Don’t shoot
‘Don’t shoot till you see the whites of their flags.’
Nobody leaves the room
‘Nobody leaves the room until we’ve agreed on watching Conclave.’
Tuesday
No sugar
‘No sugar – it’s safer to eat the plastic toy!’
Wednesday
Tariffs or chlorinated chicken?
‘What’s harder to swallow – tariffs or chlorinated chicken?’
Wednesday
Rare, medium or Tesla?
‘How would you like your steak cooked – rare, medium or Tesla?’
