It must be very taxing
Nick Newman
Wednesday
You’re just miffed
‘You’re just miffed because the King hasn’t invited you to the coronation.’
Wednesday
Let’s hope he hasn’t got into bed with another publisher
‘Let’s hope he hasn’t got into bed with another publisher.’
I keep forgetting if I’ve misplaced classified documents
‘I keep forgetting if I’ve misplaced classified documents.’
Wednesday
Unflinching memoir
‘Will this be a kiss-and-tell in an unflinching memoir?’
Wednesday
I’m doing work experience
‘I’m doing work experience, but I’m on strike.’
Monday
Naighty or nice
‘Let’s check whether you’ve been naughty or nice.’
Extra money in the pudding
‘I trust there’s 11 per cent extra money in the pudding.’
Friday
‘Unfunded giveaways? Are you insane?’
‘Unfunded giveaways? Are you insane?’
I can’t stop the doors opening
‘I can’t stop the doors opening.’
Wednesday
There’s going to be a chronic shortage of Tories
‘There’s going to be a chronic shortage of Tories.’
If the unions can make a comeback there’s hope for us all
‘If the unions can make a comeback there’s hope for us all.’
Wednesday
You can only see Doc via Zoom
‘You can only see Doc via Zoom.’
It’s only a matter of time
‘It’s only a matter of time before Nicola Sturgeon gives us our independence.’
Thursday
Bird flu crisis
‘I’m not taking any chances.’
Thursday
Matt Hancock in the jungle
‘Oh no! It’s a love rat!’
Thursday
Services to Trussonomics
‘…for services to Trussonomics…’
You have seven seconds on the Liz Truss premiership
‘You have seven seconds on the Liz Truss premiership, starting now…’
Thursday
Political stability
‘We’re off to Italy for a spot of political stability.’
This is a stick-up
‘This is a stick-up.’