Healthy eating report
‘I’d take it with a pinch of salt.’
Nick Newman
Thursday
Thursday
QR codes
‘I hope they don’t drop QR codes before I’ve found out what they are.’
Fired from cannon
‘I shall now be fired from the cannon into a bucket — without a mask!’
Was it joyful exuberance or the depths of despair!
‘Was it joyful exuberance or the depths of despair!’
Thursday
My desk used to be lovely and unspoilt
‘My desk used to be lovely and unspoilt.’
Peace in the Sausage War
‘Hurrah! It’s peace in the Sausage War!’
Thursday
Less Hassle
‘We’re going to space because it’s less hassle than going to Portugal.’
Thursday
Bend the rules!
‘Bend the rules! Move the goalposts! Kick it into touch!’
Never’s good for me
‘How about never? Never’s good for me.’
Thursday
Postcard from neighbours
‘It’s a postcard from our neighbours on staycation next door.’
Thursday
As a keen cyclist
‘As a keen cyclist, Boris would want us to ignore the traffic lights.’
Thursday
Explosive dossier
‘That’s a relief — we feared you had an explosive dossier.’
Thursday
Free to cancel
‘We’re free to cancel going abroad.’
Before the next lockdown
‘I’m getting them in before the next lockdown.’
I forget all
‘I forget all of Angela Rayner’s titles.’
Thursday
Leading the labour party
‘I draw the line at leading the Labour party.’
Against their will
‘I feel sorry for the Scots — held in the United Kingdom against their will.’
Thursday
Oh no! I completely forgot to be apathetic!
‘Oh no! I completely forgot to be apathetic!’
He should try turning it off and on again…
‘He should try turning it off and on again...’
Thursday
Let’s play War
‘Let’s play War. I’ll be Chatty Rat and you be Foolish and Unethical.’
