Nick Newman

‘I flew in this morning.’

‘You can still fly by the seat of your pants.’

‘I suggest switching to the Bank of Euan Blair’s Mum and Dad.’

‘The free school meal is so bad my daughter refuses to photograph it.’

‘No thanks, I’m too tiered.’

‘I hope by March I’ll remember how to bunk off.’

‘I need to take your temperature.’

‘Whatever the Brexit deal outcome, I’ll be gutted!’

‘Hooray! Now we can die from something else!’

‘Each day reveals a special adviser who resigns.’

‘When I saw lockdown coming I headed straight for the barbers.’

‘This eternity has been going on for what seems like a lockdown!’

‘We’ll take it — it’s in a lovely tier.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ve got a mask.’

‘Relax, there’s bound to be a Yule turn.’

‘At least it won’t affect the Lib Dem conference.’