How’s exile going
‘How’s exile going, Comrade Progozhin?’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Wednesday
If it’s pain you’re after
‘If it’s pain you’re after...’
Wednesday
and my thanks to Boris
‘... and my thanks to Boris Johnson, without whom...’
Sorry, I’ve already sold my soul to the Saudis
‘Sorry, I’ve already sold my soul to the Saudis.’
Wednesday
Gingerbread doesn’t appeal to the kiddies any more
‘Gingerbread doesn’t appeal to the kiddies any more.’
This has all got a bit out of hand
‘This has all got a bit out of hand.’
Wednesday
I’m doing woke experience
‘I’m doing woke experience.’
Wednesday
I can’t wait to spoil my first ballot paper
‘I can’t wait to spoil my first ballot paper.’
Wednesday
I’ve sent for all the King’s pharmacists
‘I’ve sent for all the King’s pharmacists.’
Wednesday
All Ed Sheeran lawsuits sound the same to me
‘All Ed Sheeran lawsuits sound the same to me.’
Wednesday
Wednesday
I’m rehearsing for the coronation
‘I’m rehearsing for the coronation.’
Wednesday
They should withdraw the whip
‘Given your links to gambling, they should withdraw the whip.’
The junior doctors are on strike
‘The junior doctors are on strike so you’ll have to wait for your misdiagnosis.’
Tuesday
I can’t decide which AI chatbot to use
‘I’ve got writer’s block – I can’t decide which AI chatbot to use.’
I’m sorry, but for me blind casting just doesn’t work
‘I’m sorry, but for me blind Nick newcasting just doesn’t work.’
Wednesday
Souvenir from Paris
‘We brought you back a souvenir from Paris’
No need to forgive me
‘No need to forgive me, Father, for my advisers assured me I haven’t sinned.’
Wednesday
Mr Punch will get a knighthood
‘I expect Mr Punch will get a knighthood.’
