Wilbur | The Spectator columnists & writers

‘Here’s to many happy, scandal-free years in government!’

Here’s to many happy, scandal-free years in government

‘Here’s to many happy, scandal-free years in government!’

Here’s to many happy, scandal-free years in government

Elizabeth Line

Elizabeth Line

‘Daddy, what did you do in the war on civil servants?’

What did you do in the war on civil servants?

‘Daddy, what did you do in the war on civil servants?’

What did you do in the war on civil servants?

‘I’m afraid I can only currently offer telephone consultations.’

Telephone consultations

‘I’m afraid I can only currently offer telephone consultations.’

Telephone consultations

‘They drain your energy at this age, don’t they?’

They drain your energy at this age

‘They drain your energy at this age, don’t they?’

They drain your energy at this age

I came into politics for the sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll

‘I came into politics for the sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll.’

I came into politics for the sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll

‘I came into politics for the sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll.’

‘I’ve had to cancel Netflix. Do you mind if we get straight down to the “chill”?’

Cancel Netflix

‘I’ve had to cancel Netflix. Do you mind if we get straight down to the “chill”?’

Cancel Netflix

The gentleman over there would like to buy you a drink

‘The gentleman over there would like to buy you a drink.’

The gentleman over there would like to buy you a drink

‘The gentleman over there would like to buy you a drink.’

‘So cool – it’s like an NFT you can hang on your wall!’

It’s like an NFT you can hang on your wall

‘So cool – it’s like an NFT you can hang on your wall!’

It’s like an NFT you can hang on your wall

‘Of course, there was no suggestion of any wrongdoing.’

Of course, there was no suggestion of any wrongdoing

‘Of course, there was no suggestion of any wrongdoing.’

Of course, there was no suggestion of any wrongdoing

‘On the bright side, the days are getting longer.’

On the bright side

‘On the bright side, the days are getting longer.’

On the bright side

A less hazardous energy source

‘One day they might decide to move towards a less hazardous energy source.’

A less hazardous energy source

‘One day they might decide to move towards a less hazardous energy source.’

‘I’d like to thank my fighting coach...’

I’d like to thank my fighting coach

‘I’d like to thank my fighting coach...’

I’d like to thank my fighting coach

Happier news!

Happier news!

'Ah, spring! Wonder what’s been going on in the world.’

Ah, spring! Wonder what’s been going on in the world

'Ah, spring! Wonder what’s been going on in the world.’

Ah, spring! Wonder what’s been going on in the world

‘Of course, we will still need to present our biometric information.’

We will still need to present our biometric information

‘Of course, we will still need to present our biometric information.’

We will still need to present our biometric information

Selfie Bomb

Selfie Bomb

Liberating you from your valuables

‘I’m liberating you from your valuables’

‘I’m liberating you from your valuables’

Liberating you from your valuables

Pestilence, take a well-earned break.

‘Pestilence, take a well-earned break. War, you’re up.’

‘Pestilence, take a well-earned break. War, you’re up.’

Pestilence, take a well-earned break.

At least we can escape for a while

‘At least we can escape for a while from all the senseless violence on the news.’

‘At least we can escape for a while from all the senseless violence on the news.’

At least we can escape for a while

‘Is that a typo?’

Boris bullish

‘Is that a typo?’

Boris bullish

We’d love a good war right now

We’d love a good war right now

The price of tongue of dog has tumbled

‘One bit of good news — the price of tongue of dog has tumbled.’

The price of tongue of dog has tumbled

‘One bit of good news — the price of tongue of dog has tumbled.’

‘It’s all his own making. You might even call it self-isolation.’

Boris increasingly isolated

‘It’s all his own making. You might even call it self-isolation.’

Boris increasingly isolated

Dear Boris, you must feel terribly isolated

‘Dear Boris, you must feel terribly isolated...’

Dear Boris, you must feel terribly isolated

‘Dear Boris, you must feel terribly isolated...’

‘All very well, Wilf, but “sorry” is meaningless unless you change your behaviour.’

All very well, Wilf

‘All very well, Wilf, but “sorry” is meaningless unless you change your behaviour.’

All very well, Wilf

Brewing crisis in Ukraine

‘Phew! For a minute I thought it was something to do with beer supply.’

Brewing crisis in Ukraine

‘Phew! For a minute I thought it was something to do with beer supply.’

‘All this politics is making me hungry.’

All this politics is making me hungry

‘All this politics is making me hungry.’

All this politics is making me hungry

‘I foresee you will soon go back to working at the office.’

You will soon go back to working at the office

‘I foresee you will soon go back to working at the office.’

You will soon go back to working at the office