Gift of clothing
‘Personally, I’d never accept a gift of clothing’
Wilbur
Wednesday
This looks awfully cosy
‘This looks awfully cosy – might we join you?’
No donations to be left on doorstep
All right Margaret…
‘All right Margaret... the time has come. Let’s get rid of Betamax.’
Wednesday
This year, it’s a choice
‘This year, it’s a choice between heating and Oasis tickets.’
Thursday
But the school will fine us if we take the kids away during term time
‘But the school will fine us if we take the kids away during term time.’
Wednesday
I’d pay £500
‘I’d pay £500 to never hear another word about the Oasis reunion.’
Wednesday
He should have gone to Specsavers
‘He should have gone to Specsavers.’
Wednesday
They’re copying our policy
‘They’re copying our policy of blaming everything on the past.’
This is our new social media guy
‘This is our new social media guy.’
Wednesday
The news just gets more and more distressing
‘The news just gets more and more distressing.’
The Great British high street
‘That would be a real shame for the Great British high street.’
Wednesday
I’m hoping the government will nationalise this
‘I’m hoping the government will nationalise this.’
Wednesday
The swine!
‘The swine! We’ll have to overwinter here, in our Tuscany home.’
Are you sure?
‘Are you sure you want to be taken to our leader?’
Wednesday
One day, all this will be a housing estate
‘One day, all this will be a housing estate.’
I haven’t had this much fun since the Old Testament
‘I had to save Trump – I haven’t had this much fun since the Old Testament.’
Wednesday
I love American politics, it makes me feel young again
‘I love American politics, it makes me feel young again.’
Do our bit
‘We want to do our bit to get Britain building.’