Dear Mary: how do I dodge a party to avoid an undesirable guest?

Q. I am on a long, jam-packed and much disrupted train journey to Scotland. In the carriage someone is working on their laptop. But it seems to be a noisy affair. Very aggressive and excited tapping on the keypad so we are all listening to what sounds like a very fast Morse code. But it’s erratic and the ‘return’ button click sounds more like a slap. After an hour it is getting on my nerves because it’s intrusive just when you might be trying to have a kip or read. What should one say? The train staff seem to be bewildered juniors on job experience. – P.R., London W1

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A. One of the benefits of working in an office is that all the world’s a stage, while working from home means no audience and self-motivation becomes hard. This is why some people working from trains make noisy business calls and fail to silence their keyboards; the train may be their only chance of recognition. No one wants to confront a passenger behaving in an antisocial way in case they are mad or violent. The best thing is to ask the train manager to make an announcement via tannoy, such as: ‘Would all passengers in carriage B please silence the keyboards on their laptops to avoid disturbing others.’ (For those readers who don’t know how to do this: go to settings, devices, typing, and then turn off ‘play key sounds as I type’).

Q. I have received an invitation to a small drinks party in a couple of weeks’ time which I have accepted. I have now found out that another guest will be present who for various reasons I very much do not want to see.