Q. Last night I went to dinner with people I had never met before. Because the host was a friend of my mother, I had to move next to her on a small sofa to send a photo home. We were then left in an awkward situation where we were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder for the rest of the evening. How could I have migrated away without seeming rude, Mary?
— R.H., London SW1
A. You might have escaped by asking your host to join you in looking more closely at, for example, a painting which intrigued you and gradually enlisted the views of others while you marvelled. Soon you would have been free to casually drift apart. Next time a conversational cul-de-sac beckons, leave your drink where you were. Had you done so this time, it would have been only natural for you to breezily spring to your feet in order to continue consumption after the photo had been taken.
Q. My husband claims that, over lockdown, he has lost the knack of talking and eating at the same time and therefore, for fear of choking, cannot accept any further invitations to lunch or dinner. What do you suggest?
— M.W., Pewsey
A. Men have always resisted going out, though they enjoy the occasions once they get to them. Lockdown has de-civilised many males and, for his own good, you must not indulge your husband’s choking fantasy.
Q. We are planning a celebration lunch later in the year. Although we do have an 80th birthday to celebrate, the real aim is to reunite family and friends after the past extraordinary year. How do you suggest we ensure everyone understands that ‘presents’ are not desired, and are not obligatory, without writing something on the invitations?
— C.J.,
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