Q. I have been pitched into a social dilemma regarding Glyndebourne, which I live near to but don’t go to often. A friend (who lives in Kent) asked me a while ago to be his plus-one at a young person’s wedding local to me. He mentioned he might try to get two last-minute tickets for Glyndebourne the next day (we always go Dutch) but I did not express much interest. Then a neighbour invited me to join him and a couple he knows at Glyndebourne for that same next day and I accepted. Now my friend from Kent wants to still try for a ticket and join our group. He doesn’t drive and would need a lift. I don’t want to look as if I have encouraged a stranger to barge into the other quite conventional man’s Glyndebourne group. Moreover it is Wagner – six hours. Help!
– E.S., Sussex
A. Soften the blow of rejection by enthusing that he can stay another night with you so you can have a marvellous post-mortem. Gush that he can easily take an Uber to Glyndebourne and back as you won’t be able to risk introducing him to your group. Your control-freak host would insist on him joining for the picnic etc, but would then resent you for adding an unknown quantity into the human cocktail he has prepared.
Q. I was flying from Stansted on a very early flight to join a house party abroad and a fellow guest, who lives near the airport, kindly suggested I stay – not quite the night, as we had to set off at 3 a.m. – and share his taxi to the airport. I arrived after supper and shortly afterwards we went upstairs. I didn’t get into bed but just dozed on top of it in my travelling clothes for a couple of hours. Should I have left £10 in the room or not? I did plan to, as I thought the cleaner might have been looking forward to receiving it, but in the end the leaving was chaotic and I failed to. Should I now send my host a tenner so he can pass it on? Or am I overthinking this?
– W.M., Sevenoaks
A. It seems that no service was provided by your host’s house team and so no tip was earned. However, in preparation for your next overnight stay, you should be aware that the going rate is £10 per night for a normal household but £20 per night if it is a fully staffed establishment.
Q. I go to a pub quiz every Wednesday but I am worried because the group includes another girl’s boyfriend who is leery towards me. Obviously I don’t want to flag this. What can I do?
– Name and address withheld
A. Share with the group an update to your Hinge profile showing new preferences – e.g. ‘Under 5ft/smoker’ – which rule out the leerer.
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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