Q. I have a tattoo the length of my forearm and am worried it will alienate my new boyfriend’s parents on a forthcoming beach holiday. There will be no way of covering it up in a very hot climate. My boyfriend says his parents are way too pompous and it will be good for them to have a tattooed guest ‘in their face’ every day for a week, but I have no wish to irritate people who have been kind enough to invite me to Barbados. How should I handle this?
— Name and address withheld
A. Visit the website www.veilcover.com and watch a video showing how to completely mask a tattoo with waterproof make up. Veil, which was invented for the medical profession to cover scars and moles, is now available to the general public as well. A complete masking kit costs £34.97. Thus masked, you can bond with the parents without prejudice, so to speak. Once they have taken a liking to you, you can then reveal your secret.
Q. At a smart London restaurant, the River Café, a senior colleague told me, ‘Don’t even look at the menu, just order the Anjou pigeon.’ I did what he suggested but when the pigeon arrived (on a mattress of bruschetta), it was presented as a full bird. Every time I tried to carve a bit off, it slid all over the plate. The only way I could have tucked in properly was to stand naked over a sink tearing it apart with my hands. As it was, I only managed to eat a couple of thin slices of breast. What should I have done? I noted my colleague did not order pigeon himself.
— Name and address withheld
A.
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