Dear Mary: How do I avoid getting shown up by a more chivalrous bachelor?

Q. My godfather, who has managed to get me a valuable internship in the Far East, has also sent me a business-class ticket to fly out there in the new year. I have seen how much the ticket costs (£3,800) and would much prefer to cash it in, go economy (£694) and spend the balance when I am there. But would it be rude to suggest this?

– Name and address withheld

A. First check with your godfather that he meant to buy you a business-class ticket – his secretary may have done it in error. Then offer to go economy. If he refuses, then make the most of the opportunity, but don’t try to cash the ticket in as the airline’s computer is likely to inform him of the change.

Q. I’m a bachelor and as a spare man I often get asked away for the weekend. I occasionally come across another man of similar age and status who has been invited for the same reasons. My manners, I believe, are fairly good, but his are exceptional. He is always pulling chairs out and carrying things and when we went to church last weekend he made a show of being on the outside of the two ladies on the pavement. That is fine but I feel that with his constant getting up and down every time a woman comes into the room, I must do the same or be shown up. Any suggestions?

– M.L., London SW7

A. Do not interfere. You will find that women adore this sort of retro chivalry. You can leave it to the women to clamp down on him if the bobbings become disruptive. They will thank him and suggest he stays seated.

Q. We don’t go often enough to our house in Northern Ireland but have a loyal gardener in the village who also does useful things like collecting us from the airport. At least we thought he was loyal. We have recently upgraded our gate monitor and have been supplied with footage of all recent visitors to the house. Our agreement is that our worker will go there four mornings a week and find jobs to do in the garden. It was he who insisted on this arrangement. The camera shows he has been going only one day a week, and yet charging for four. How can we confront him without humiliating him into resigning?

– Name and address withheld

A. Gush with excitement as you telephone the offender to inform him that your new security camera on the gate is about to be fully up and running and will shortly be recording all comings and goings to the house, including anyone local who might consider prowling around. This will allow him to count his blessings that he hasn’t been caught and to mend his ways ‘going forward’.