Monday
Look, this thing with the tree isn’t funny. It’s deadly serious. Jed has found out from the ad agency where they got the template and it’s not good news. Terrible showdown with little guy in red specs who looked just like Lord Saatchi’s mini-me. Personally I don’t see it makes much difference that our new logo is based on the first flag of Lebanon. Or that it’s a cedar, not an oak. We have cedars in Britain don’t we? But Jed is distraught and says that when Dave finds out ‘we’re all kofta’ — some form of cockney rhyming slang. Don’t care. Am off to Bournemouth with Jed for conference preps while everyone else going to horrid shad cab away-day in Leeds. Feel v smug.
Tuesday
Am in charge of rehearsals for four of the mini-debates! It’s a huge responsibility. Dave says he wants to ‘harness the energy and passion of members’, to really fire the public imagination and, obviously, the best way to achieve that is to make the debates much shorter. We want lots of controversial views, so we’re bringing in a strict monitoring system. For the first time in conference history those who want to speak from the floor are going to be able to let us know beforehand what they intend to say so we can make sure they get their point across. How democratic is that!
Off to rehearsals ….
Wot a nightmare. We’ve brought in a minibus full of members of the local party who thought they were here for bingo. To be brutally frank about it, it’s v difficult to practise ‘harnessing energy and passion’ on them. May have to ask them to jump up and down a bit.
Wednesday
More teething problems. Jed marching up and down stage wearing Madonna-style headset and screaming obscenities about the lime-green set.
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