Things to do: read this book

It would be perverse not to succumb to the temptation to write this review as a list. So, the first item is how very handsome an object this book is: sturdy and smooth and substantial and full of white space and full-page illustrations (my favourite is Nick Cave’s homemade dictionary, which has two full pages). How much less satisfactory it will be in its e-form. This is somewhat ironic, as it had its genesis as a website, being a companion to the equally splendidly produced Letters of Note, such a hit last Christmas.

Item two is that it is just as engrossing as that former volume. Indeed, judging from the number of shared contributors — F. Scott Fitzgerald, Leonardo da Vinci, Einstein, Vonnegut — it is less a companion, more an offspring of the first. None the worse for that, however. Those aren’t bad contributors.

Item three: the defining characteristic of this book is its eclecticism. Dipping randomly (how else?), you may come upon Sid Vicious (a banal and therefore poignant list of his girlfriend’s best qualities, ‘What makes Nancy so great’), the Ladies’ Pocket Magazine, 1830 (‘Advice to Young Ladies’, obviously taken by Sid Vicious too: ‘If you sing indifferently, hesitate not a moment’) or Albert Einstein (somewhat less fond of his consort than was Sid of his: ‘You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children’).

Item four is the instructive nature of the tome (for tome it is): ‘Those who flirt in haste oft repent in leisure’ (Anti-Flirt Club); ‘Respect women, parents and the nation’s laws’ (the Cowboy Code); ‘Try not to have a sexual relationship with the band’ (Advice to Chick Rockers, by Chrissie Hynde); ‘Do not discourage childish fantasies’ (Rules of Parenting, by Susan Sontag); ‘Never look bored’ (10 Commandments for Con Men); ‘Never try to discourage thinking, for you are sure to succeed’ (Bertrand Russell); ‘Don’t discuss bloomers with every man you know’ (The Unique Cycling Club of Chicago, 1895); ‘Take things always by their smooth handle’ (Thomas Jefferson); ‘Remember to never split an infinitive’ (William Safire).