Society

When in doubt, have a drink

Most Tory MPs enjoy leadership elections. There may be an element of what the trick-cyclists call ‘displacement activity’. Equally, it is tempting to employ the cliché about rearranging the furniture on the Titanic. The Brane-Cantenac 2000 was everything that a claret lover could wish for Until 1990, the process was brief. It took only four days to elect John Major, whose team used an underground ‘bunker’ in Alan Duncan’s house as their HQ. By 1997, when the party had been grievously wounded and the election procedure extended, there were lots of gatherings which required more spacious premises – including Jonathan Aitken’s garden. Now, even more stricken, the Tories will need

Michael Simmons

Venn diagrams are the perfect tool for a politician

‘I just love Venn diagrams,’ Kamala Harris said in 2022. ‘It’s just something about those three circles, the analysis about where there is the intersection, right?’ Venn diagrams have graduated from school textbooks to a genre of internet meme. After Joe Biden announced he wouldn’t seek a second presidential term, Harris’s team tweeted a picture of some circles, labelled ‘Biden HQ’ and ‘Harris HQ’, overlapping to ‘hold Trump accountable’. Harris’s love of Venn diagrams might seem odd until you realise that they’re the perfect tool for a politician: they make complex issues look simple. They are often found in educational materials for young children, elucidating similarities and differences between things

The dark side of your local dog show

Over at the judging for Waggiest Tail, things were getting acrimonious. ‘That bloody woman,’ my new acquaintance muttered. We were sitting behind the rope barrier in the front row and had formed a bond over a serious injustice in Prettiest Bitch. ‘I’m pretty sure she threw this category three, four years back. I happen to know – for a fact – that she made her husband stay overnight in a Travelodge. Dog’s got awful separation anxiety. Husband comes to the park, sitting round the corner. Once the Waggiest Tail starts up, she texts him, and he appears in the dog’s eyeline. Dog starts wagging fit to bust. First prize. Disgrace.’

The summer of Brat

The singer Charli XCX (or ‘Ninety Ten’ as my husband insists on pronouncing it) has endorsed Kamala Harris, in a way. ‘Kamala is brat,’ she tweeted. Since the slippery meaning of brat includes elements of dirtiness, drunkenness and hedonism, it might not define all that Americans want in a president. Not that Charli is American. She was born in Cambridge (England, not Massachusetts), given the names Charlotte Emma and went to a private school in Bishop’s Stortford. Her album brat came out in June, with a lime-green cover and the name in fuzzy type. She has characterised brat as ‘trashy… a pack of cigs, a Bic lighter and a strappy

The joy of getting lost in the Congo

Republic of Congo I’m sending this to you from the rainforest in Congo, surrounded by vast trees and jungle noises in one of the loveliest, remotest places I’ve ever seen. Yesterday, flying at 150 feet above the canopy, I glimpsed in a clearing a family of relaxed gorillas gazing up at me, a visitor from another world. When I set out as a young reporter in Africa 36 years ago, I drafted my stories on a typewriter. I had to travel to a city to book a reverse-charge call that took hours to come through, then dictate my words to the paper’s copy desk, or type it out on a

Rod Liddle

Save our grey belt!

While working as a callow speechwriter for the Labour party in the mid-1980s, I suggested to a member of the then shadow cabinet that perhaps we should do something in support of the teachers, who were clamouring for more money. ‘Sod them, they’re all Tories,’ came the response. Well, how times change – and also how little. This supposedly marginal land is in danger of disappearing, and with it the wildlife that abounds These days there are just nine teachers in the country who vote Conservative and they keep their heads down in case a colleague dobs them in for the hate crime of existing. However, the principle of helping

Let prisoners phone home

‘A society is measured by the treatment of its prisoners,’ Winston Churchill said. Last year, in England and Wales, every three and a half days a prisoner killed themselves. What does this say about our society? Perhaps you think: why should we care – aren’t there better things to worry about than criminals committing suicide? But the suicide rate in prisons is actually, surprisingly, a measure of the safety of society at large, because those who kill themselves in their cells represent the tip of an iceberg of despair within the prison population. It’s an indication of just how desperate life inside is – and when prisoners are feeling desperate,

Bridge | 03 August 2024

Bridge is a love affair which never dims. Even after all these years, it still excites and energises me – and I’m almost embarrassed to admit how often I dream about it. Last week, for instance, I was watching the North American Bridge Championships from my laptop at home, when I saw a deal that fascinated me. I kept mulling it over and, that night, I dreamt I was desperate to find someone to tell. I was rushing from one person to another, but no one – not friends, nor family – showed the slightest interest. So what a relief to be able to share it here, with fellow fanatics

Which countries have doped the most at the Olympics?

Hole lot of history What was the original black hole? Although the term has been in use since the 1960s for a collapsed star from which no light can escape, its origins lie two centuries earlier with the Black Hole of Calcutta. In 1756 the East India Company was seeking to reinforce its fortifications at Fort William in the city. When the Nawab of Bengal, Siraj ud-Daulah, heard about it he raised an army of 50,000 men and, with the aid of 500 elephants, marched on Fort William. While most of the British fled to ships in the harbour, 146 were rounded up and imprisoned in a hole measuring 14ft

Things can always get worse for the Tories

Before migrating to Wiltshire where I will be for August, I had a friendly dinner with a clutch of Conservative aficionados. Inevitably the conversation turned to the leadership contest and, having disposed of the poison pill, Suella Braverman, they asked me which candidate, as a Labour person, I would fear most. This was quite a challenging question. James Cleverly is clearly a nice chap but his fondness for blokeish chat may prove career-shortening. Robert Jenrick’s views seem to depend on who he is talking to. Ditto the vanilla Tom Tugendhat. Mel Stride is inoffensive and otherwise undefinable. I doubt Priti Patel’s appeal will reach beyond a segment of her party.

Portrait of the week: Stabbings in Southport, a £22bn ‘black hole’ and Tory leadership nominations

Home Rachel Reeves, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, said she had found a £21.9 billion hole, and a black one at that, ‘covered up’ by the Tories in the finances Labour inherited. ‘The biggest single cause of the £22 billion fiscal hole was Reeves’s decision to give inflation-busting pay rises to public sector workers,’ the Financial Times reported. Junior doctors were offered an average rise of 22 per cent over two years. The Chancellor told the Commons that the government was cancelling: the universal winter fuel payment; the cap on the amount people must spend on funding their social care; A-level reforms; and a tunnel near Stonehenge. Jeremy Hunt, the

Brendan O’Neill

Condemning the Southport riot is not enough

Will Southport’s suffering never end? First, the Merseyside town was rocked by the barbarism of a frenzied knife attack that left three girls dead and others critically injured. Then it was beset by unrest. Just hours after yesterday’s vigil for the slain girls, thugs clashed with cops. They set a police van on fire and threw bricks at a mosque. It was a grim orgy of destruction that insulted the quiet dignity the good people of Southport have shown since evil visited their town on Monday. Double standards have crept into the discussion of Southport’s disorder Everyone of good conscience will condemn yesterday’s riotous events. Thirty-nine officers were injured, eight

Gareth Roberts

Just Stop Oil and the secret power of the middle class

Just Stop Oil isn’t what it was. When a handful of protestors from the environmental group tried to block a departure gate at Gatwick Airport this week, they failed miserably. It wasn’t much of a protest: they just plonked themselves down and adopted the traditional JSO expression: a stance of neutrality aimed at looking noble and martyrish but, in reality, comes over as suggesting they are mildly constipated. Embarrassed air travellers merely stepped over them, although one traveller did speak for the nation by suggesting that they reconvene elsewhere, using a two-word expression, one of them composed of four letters. The power of the middle class to charm officers of

John Keiger

Even the Olympics can’t unite France

Writing of the state of France in the twilight of the fateful Second Empire, the left-wing journalist Henri Rochefort observed: ‘France contains 36 million subjects, not including the subjects of discontent.’ Has anything changed since 1868? From the European to the legislative elections, France is a profoundly divided nation. At present and probably until mid-August, she has a caretaker government because the National Assembly is irremediably split into three camps. One might have thought that the Paris Olympic Games could have united the country. Instead, it has deepened division. France was desperate to be enthralled, and above all, distracted by the Games France was desperate to be enthralled, and above all,

What would Reagan make of Trump?

If the Donald Trump-JD Vance ticket is successful in November and the pair head to the White House, there is a former US president who would surely turn in his grave: Ronald Reagan. While Reagan saw the importance of American involvement in Europe, Trump and his running mate Vance seem in favour of adopting a more hands-off attitude. It’s an approach that could unpick Reagan’s hard-fought legacy in eastern Europe. What a different world it was back in the Eighties when Reagan was US president and the epitome of Western power and influence. In June 1987, he stood before the Brandenburg Gate in West Berlin and gave a historic speech,

No wonder the National Trust is bowing to climate activists

Just like the Anglo-Saxons disastrously paying off the Viking marauders with Danegeld, so the National Trust has attempted to do the same with its desperate virtue-signalling. For the last decade, the Trust has fallen on its knees in deference to every fashionable cause. But, again like the Anglo-Saxons with the Vikings, they can never do enough to appease the insatiable demands of the zealots.  The latest eco-craze is for climate activists to hold protests at over 40 National Trust sites this week to stop the charity banking with Barclays because of its links to the fossil fuel industry. The usual suspects – from Extinction Rebellion, Fossil Free London and Christian

Tom Slater

The real reason Just Stop Oil target airports

Just Stop Oil’s campaign to infuriate ordinary people has moved up a gear. After bringing traffic to a standstill and disrupting play at the snooker, now its activists are targeting those havens of peace, harmony and low blood pressure: Britain’s bustling airports during the school summer holidays. A group of JSOers sat themselves down on the floor and locked their hands together at Gatwick’s south terminal yesterday, in an attempt to block the path through security. (Intrepid holidaymakers merely stepped over them and they were swiftly removed.) Now, JSO poster girl Phoebe Plummer – fresh from her conviction for throwing soup at Van Gogh’s Sunflowers – has popped up at a protest in which paint was sprayed

It’s no surprise McDonald’s is struggling

The news that McDonald’s sales have fallen by 1 per cent around the world between April and June might not seem, on the face of it, to be vastly significant. After all, surely there will always be a market for cheap and cheerful hamburgers, chicken nuggets and chips that even Michelin-starred chefs rave about? Apparently not. Ever since the pandemic, when there was a considerable rise in prices, the lustre has gone off the golden arches, and profits have declined by 12 per cent. There have been calls for ‘value added’ innovations, such as the current ‘buy three items for £3’ deal, but, as one McDonald’s executive helpfully put it,

Freddy Gray

The truth about Kamalamania

In a society that worships the self, identity politics is a very powerful force. We see this now in Kamalamania – the dizzying speed with which the vice-president and presumptive Democratic nominee has been turned, through mass acclamation, from national embarrassment to Democratic saviour.  Will Kamalamania last until the election is over? The fact that Harris’s transfiguration doesn’t make much sense is sort of the point – the more improbable it seems the better. We are memetic creatures, especially in the digital age, and the meme of the moment is that Harris has magically invigorated the Democratic base and turned the 2024 US presidential election around in their party’s favour. It’s