Angel
‘…and we believe that each of us has an angel that looks after us.’
Cartoons
Son
‘My son? Oh, I’m afraid he’s no longer with us.’
Ed 2
‘You can have one of my kitchens!’
Care Home
‘It’ll never last.’
Mccoy 2
‘I say, didn’t you used to be A.P. McCoy?’
Graveyard
‘It’s how my beautiful assistant would have wanted it.’
Thor
‘I preferred him when he just had a hammer.’
Facebook 3
‘The gods are unfriending us on Facebook tonight.’
Spoilt
‘No, it’s neck and neck. These are the spoilt ballots.’
Sorry
‘Couldn’t you just have said, “Sorry, mate, was that your pint? Here, let me get you another one.”?’
Selfie 7
‘Your trouble is you’re too selfie-centred.’
Sub
‘You’re right, I do feel subeditors are outdated. How did you know?’
Monkey
‘I’ll write an Iraq report before Sir John Chilcot.’
