Aliens
‘It’s Zok here from the “human abduction team”. Do we have disabled access facilities?’
Cartoons
Burka
‘Men — they’re all the same.’
Unicorns
‘I make it 8.36.’
Smoking 7
‘Anti-smoking propaganda has really hardened.’
Multitask
‘And verily I say to you, go forth and multitask.’
Outside 2
‘I do wish you wouldn’t look at the outside world — you know it only upsets you.’
Tramps 4
‘Night, night. Sleep tight.’
Clowns 2
‘I’m bravely taking a make-up-free selfie.’
Pensioner
‘Dad, can I borrow the pension pot for the weekend?’
Dec
‘I’m in for assaulting Ant, but it’s a case of mistaken identity — I thought it was Dec.’
Osborne
‘We’ll start with a pub and a bingo hall.’
Jobless
‘Congratulations! It’s a jobless young person.’
Eurovision 2
‘There’s only one sanction Putin will respond to – we must throw Russia out of the Eurovision Song Contest immediately.’