Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill nobody | 23 August 2008

Tamzin Lightwater's unique take on the week

Monday

Hooray! It’s official — Dave is no longer the Heir to Blair, he’s the Heir to Thatcher!! This makes all our hard rebranding work worthwhile. As Nigel says, it’s a measure of how far we have come that we are now able to wage war on benefit cheats, binge drinkers and Russia. None of us would have thought this possible a year ago.

When you think of the ground we have covered, relentlessly forging ahead with different strategies at every available opportunity, it really does seem incredible.

For those of you who may need reminding: We are now the party of: the environment; the NHS; the North; the arts; traditional values; Change; Equality; lower taxes (business); higher taxes (to be confirmed); Liberty; Law and Order; and, last but not least, Fairness.

‘But how has this all been achieved?’ I hear you ask. Well, let me tell you: it has not been easy. By no means. And there have been times when it has, frankly, involved Yours Truly running around like a headless chicken. But I think I speak for everyone here at HQ when I say we couldn’t have done it if we didn’t Believe.

Tuesday

V amusing round of Fantasy Tory with Poppy. It threw up an interesting ethical question — if Geri Halliwell, Madonna and Liam Gallagher are all Conservatives, then which one should we chose to introduce Dave at the 2010 victory rally? Tough one, eh?

Geri could sing ‘Congratulations, Mr Prime Minister’ in the manner of Marilyn Monroe. Then again, Madonna could do something really eye-catching with the tree logo. But of course it’s too early to think about these things. I’ve seen the Forward Strategy Grid and our first victory rally planning meeting isn’t until next March.

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