Dave – 26 September 2013
Cartoons
Goldfish
‘The goldfish wants feeding, dear..’
Dolls
‘I feel so empty now the children have left.’
Nude
‘When you said you were “doing a nude”, I thought you wanted me to take my clothes off.’
Alarm
‘He was everything I was looking for in a man — which set alarm bells ringing straight away.’
Satnav 3
The outlaw Ned Kelly no longer got lost in the outback now that he had a satnav
Hideous
‘How absolutely hideous — it’ll go perfectly with those shoes I never wear.’
Wax
‘It’s the latest beauty treatment — combined aromatherapy and full-body wax.’
Ed
‘Bring out yer Ed.’
Clegg
‘Oh dear — that sausage I ate is about to do a U-turn.’
Photo
‘That’s the wife or the mistress, I forget which.’