Q. A friend’s daughter is marrying soon. She and her husband-to-be, both art-lovers, have dispensed with a wedding list, instead asking that each of the 200 guests give something they have made. My husband and I are loath to add to the mountain of garbage the young couple will feel honour-bound to find roomspace for. Would it be kinder to come empty-handed?
— M.D., Wiltshire
A. The request may be less naive than you think. It would be well worth storing 198 pieces of grot if, for example, David Hockney and Bridget Riley were to be among the guests and delivering something handmade. Meanwhile you could compromise by knocking up Lego brick constructions. These will fulfil the criterion of being handmade but the bricks can be recycled if and when the couple have children.
Q. May I pass on a tip about restaurant bill-splitting? When having lunch in a gang I always order first and ask the waiter, ‘Can I have my own tab please?’ I explain to my companions that I’m insisting on this because I am going to be eating and drinking far more than they will be. No one objects and no one seems to notice that I usually just have tap water and mozzarella salad.
— Name and address withheld
A. How very kind of you to have shared this useful tip.
Q. Enjoyable wedding yesterday deep in the countryside. I was designated driver, hence sober. I didn’t realise as we were getting ready to leave, circa 2200 hours, that my 25-year-old son was very drunkenly canoodling with a 55-year-old friend of his aunt. Had I known, is there anything I could or should have done?
—M.H., by email
A. Had you been aware, perhaps you might have enlisted another young person to go and find him, calling out his name and saying his father’s car was about to leave.
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