Big Ted
‘Big Ted? He’s in the corridor.’

‘Derek still works from home.’
‘You’re a gift to a cartoonist, but try not to do all the work for them...’
‘Although I must say, I had been hoping for health secretary.’
‘Can I go back to doom-scrolling, Mum?’
‘It’s the only way we get to see our MP.’
‘Can you recommend a country where tourists are still welcome?’
‘My corridor is always open.’
‘When my husband heard about Gerry Adams getting compensation, he exploded.’
‘Are we keeping the public out or the convicted felon in?’
‘Do you really want to know?’
‘If Labour ring, tell them we’re out.’
‘I’m sorry, but we’re ending our DEI programme.’
‘Bad news I’m afraid – I have full confidence in you.’
‘Excuse me – would you mind?’