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Tuesday

John Sturgis

Admit it, the French are better than us

The French, according to the enshrined belief system that I grew up with, are work-shy layabouts. They never turn up for a job on time as they’re too busy drinking wine for breakfast. And once they do finally start, they break off almost immediately for a two-hour lunch with more wine before dithering about a bit and then finishing early. If anyone threatens these unproductive practices, they blockade ports or set fire to lorries full of lambs.  We British, by contrast, have work ethic running through our veins. We fill every unforgiving minute with sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, as Kipling put it. They ridicule us as a nation of

Monday

Julie Bindel

I’ve had it with awful dinner parties

I’m always a bit wary when invited for the first time to a dinner party at a friend’s home; some of the least enjoyable social occasions I’ve ever attended have been misleadingly advertised as such. The inevitable email about ‘dietary requirements’ has been duly responded to. You’ve muttered to yourself about the time (8 o’clock? Why so late?) and worked out that because your hosts (and I use that word advisedly) live on the other side of London, you won’t be in bed before midnight. And the route is terrible – but never mind, it’s lovely to be invited to someone’s home for dinner, isn’t it? Why would anyone cook

Adam Hay-Nicholls

What you get for a £25 million custom Rolls-Royce

Back in the early days of the motor car, Rolls-Royce would sell you a ladder chassis and drivetrain, but for the bodywork you’d have to consult a coachbuilder and write a separate cheque. It wasn’t until 1946 that Rolls-Royce provided its own. Henry Royce dealt with the oily bits, but when it came to the styling, his patrons had to visit the likes of Park Ward, Mulliner, James Young and Hooper. There were dozens of firms to choose from and the outcome would be a collaboration between designer and client, not unlike tailoring. There was an upside to all of this: Rolls-Royce customers often ended up with something unique, or

Friday

Penworthy

Four tips for York’s big meeting tomorrow

The most likely winner of tomorrow’s Sky Bet Ebor Handicap (3.35 p.m.), the most valuable flat race handicap in Europe, is Sweet William. John and Thady Gosden’s four-year-old gelding is going for a four-timer and he will land a £300,000 first prize if he achieves it. Those canny enough to have bagged fancy prices on the favourite can feel pleased with themselves, but odds of no bigger than 7-2 are not for me in a 22-runner handicap in which lots can go wrong for any horse. Furthermore, while Sweet William is certainly not ground dependent, his best run came last time out at Glorious Goodwood on heavy ground, so the

Julie Burchill Julie Burchill

The terrible triumph of tenderness

When I was a young woman in the 1980s, videotape was the new-fangled entertainment form; on evenings in, my second husband and I liked nothing better than to whack in a VHS and record something off the the telly. We felt like we were in The Jetsons – though seen with a modern eye, we must have looked more like The Flintstones. We were particularly fond of Duran Duran videos – and of a philosophical debate which was first aired in 1986 on the then-sophisticated Channel 4, now most famous for showcasing a transvestite playing the piano with their penis. The debate was part of the Modernity And Its Discontents series,

Steve Feltham

I’ve spent my life hunting the Loch Ness Monster

The Guinness Book of Records states that I have carried out ‘the longest continuous vigil hunting for the Loch Ness Monster’. Others call me the world champion at looking for something that’s not there. Personally, I view it as an act of patience. However you describe it, my world record currently stands at 32 years, two months and a couple of days. I spend my days watching and waiting, full time, summer and winter, for one good glimpse of the Loch Ness Monster.  There is an energy that pours off the Loch. I feel it enter my chest and almost lift me My mission these past three decades has been to film

Wednesday

John Mac Ghlionn

What happened to the great British gangster film?

Cast your minds back 25 years, when Cher’s ‘Believe’ was the biggest hit of the year and Nokia dominated the mobile phone market. These were simpler times. They also happened to better times, at least from a movie perspective. We had The Truman Show, Saving Private Ryan, There’s Something About Mary and American History X. 1998 also saw the release of Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, arguably the best British gangster movie of the 1990s, maybe even all-time. For some unfathomable reason, the Hatfield-born director, producer and screenwriter opted to ‘branch out’ and try his hand at making different types of movies Guy Ritchie’s debut feature, which celebrates its 25th

Tom Parker-Bowles

My battle with three German children

To Paxos, Homer’s inspiration they say, for Circe’s Isle. These days, there’s still enchantment, albeit of a less carnal kind. Skies are azure, waters pellucid and the days fall quickly into the most indolent of rhythms. Breakfast, swim, book. Drink, lunch, sleep. Swim, book, drink. Dinner, then bed. Sometimes, though, it seems that great swathes of West London and Wiltshire have decamped to the island, gathering in the main port of Gaios. A glut of Panamas, pink faces and pastel linen. Along with much anxious talk – over platters of fried calamari and icy bottles of Santorini white – about Keir Starmer and his proposed private school VAT ‘raid’. No

Alec Marsh

Mad Max meets Mr Toad: The Morgan Super 3, reviewed

When you first lay eyes on Morgan’s new Super 3 – a three-wheeled car categorised, intriguingly, as a motorbike in the US – it does take a moment to get your bearings. First, in an age when all cars essentially look the same, this one appears to be back to front. Set wide, two front wheels protrude from a bullet-shaped body which tapers off to a narrow, wasp-like tail. At first glance, it looks a bit like a 1930s Bugatti mated with a bobsleigh. But as your eyes adjust to this unconventional layout and configuration – still strange, despite the fact Morgan began making three-wheelers in the 1910s – you