I look back on when I went to school
‘I look back on when I went to school as the best days of my life.’
‘I look back on when I went to school as the best days of my life.’
‘Is this a bad time?’
Staggered return to work
‘I haven’t had a haircut — I just pull it out instead.’
‘I hope by March I’ll remember how to bunk off.’
‘It’s OK, you’re allowed to meet for exercise with one other person from one other household.’
I’m afraid it’s bad news. You have 2020 vision
‘Yeah? Well you don’t look so good either.’
‘I’m not allowed in the delivery room.’
‘I need to take your temperature.’
‘And in the interests of balance, we also wish you a thoroughly miserable Christmas.’
UK government angel
‘Isn’t it boring when people tell you how they got here?’
‘Oh no, it’s the tinfoil hat man!’