‘So, the world ended and only we survived. Oh — and him.’
‘There’s never a policeman around when you want one.’
‘Is this a good time?’
‘One bit of good news — the price of tongue of dog has tumbled.’
‘I’m still bitter about my funeral.’
‘Can you please stop being 7 per cent more expensive than you were last year?’
‘It’s the property ladder.’
‘I don’t want you to read me a story! I want the Duchess of Cambridge to.’
‘I suppose it was just a question of time...there’s now an Olivia Colman channel.’
