The Battle for Britain | 11 October 2025
 
			
		 
			
		‘Thank God, that’s the Christmas shopping finished.’
 
			
		‘I would aim one at the Tory conference but the chances of hitting anyone are remote.’
‘Would you prefer to hear your operation’s been cancelled by email, post, SMS, phone, WhatsApp, Google Chat – or all of the above?’
 
			
		 
			
		‘I’m defecting to Reform.’
‘There’s a new Taylor Swift album’
 
			
		 
			
		‘Is it too late for a letter of no confidence?’
‘How desperate are the Tories, on a scale of one to bringing back Boris Johnson?’
 
			
		 
			
		‘They’ve mis-spelled Reform.’